


Working Order

by AudibleEllipsis



Series: Already Found [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And Connie is Too, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Empty Cups Keep Pouring, F/F, Fusion Experiments, Gen, Movie Night, Steven's a great kid, Teen For a Lot Of Reasons, What-If, technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2020-11-27 04:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20942054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AudibleEllipsis/pseuds/AudibleEllipsis
Summary: Steven dreams of Lapis and is finally able to make good on some words he's wanted to say for a while. Spinel, Amethyst, and Connie go out on a gem-hunt. Jasper makes a proposition. Nothing goes as planned.Mostly original content, but contains the plot of 'Keeping it Together' and a few other things.





	1. Chapter 1

**Steven** was buried on all sides by the immense pressure and chill of blue-green water. The cold, squeezing sensation was enough to make him gasp immediately, taking on water in the process. His arms stretched out for the blue gem in front of him, and the shifting noise was finally enough to make her take notice, gasping.

“Steven?” Lapis’ hands, wrapped in a lighter, thicker substance, moved subtly, pushing the water away from his head. “How are you… here?”

Steven gulped in the air, coughing. “Lapis! Oh my gosh, I’ve been so worried! I-- Oh… this isn’t real, is it? It’s just a dream.”

She looked him up and down. “No, this is… You _have_ to be real, so…” And then spared one glance upwards. “She hasn’t noticed yet. Look, Steven, I don’t know how you’re here, but you shouldn’t be. It’s dangerous.”

“But I finally found you! Uh, accidentally, but, I don’t even know if you’ve read my letters!”

Her expression turned soft. “I-I have, but… You don’t get it. There’s no escape any more. I’ve been in this fusion for too long. Jasper and Malachite aren’t going to let me go. This is _my_ mistake, and I know you want to help, but you can’t.”

“Well, why not?” Steven swam closer, but Lapis moved away. “You’re half of this fusion, and-and I’ve seen what a fusion that loses control is like, but you’re talking to me right now! You’re still you!”

“Steven, don’t come any closer. If you do, she’ll know you’re--” And the water _shifted_. It shunted him around, squeezed even harder, making it difficult to breath, and Lapis _jerked_, and from somewhere high above a scream carried through the water. Lapis looked at him once with wide eyes, and Steven willed himself forward, barely managing to grasp onto her leg before the chains pulled them up so violently it felt like his arm might pop off.

But it wasn’t long before they broke the surface, and Steven gasped again. Everything was dyed in the same sickly shade of blue-green. Lapis was face-down on the water, looking even worse than she did before, and standing only thirty feet away, holding the other end of the chains, was a furious Jasper.

“You!” The once-orange gem shouted. “You!” She called, stomping across the water. Lapis shifted, scrambling to kneel in front of him. Her arm reeled back, and pushed forward, causing a wave to fly forward, but Jasper’s gem glowed-- helmet equipped, and she head-butt with enough force that it pushed them both back, her stride unbroken.

“No!” Lapis shouted, but couldn’t stand.

Steven felt fear and panic grip him. This was realer than a dream, and Lapis was afraid, and so was he, but-- But that didn’t stop him before! Not while there was someone to protect. Not while there was someone he cared about in need! He stepped in front of Lapis, and raised his shield, pink light emanating, surrounding both of them.

“Steven, don’t!” Lapis begged. “Just go!”

“Ha!” Jasper grinned manically, pointing across the distance. “You’re going to pretend to care about this Lapis? Like you pretended to care about all your little soldiers?”

“Jasper!” Steven shouted. “I don’t know everything my mom did in the war, but I know she must have hurt you! Please, tell me how, and we can talk this out!”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Jasper’s expression cracked in an instant, hideous fury on full display. Lapis attempted once more to push the gem away, but the ten foot tall wave she summoned may as well have been a cup of water as Jasper just walked through. Steven raised his shield, prepared to defend, but found he was unprepared for the large gem’s speed as she grabbed his collar and lifted.

“Jasper, leave him--” Lapis called, but a boot from the orange gem sent her rolling across the water. At once, Jasper wound back her arm, tossing him in the opposite direction. Steven barely had enough time to summon a bubble, which bounced once, twice, before popping.

“You want to know how you hurt me, _Rose_?” There was such venom in the words, it was only then that Steven understood just how far in over his head he was. “You want to _talk to me, **Rose**_? Well, let’s **talk**.” She cracked her knuckles, and began to stride forward. “You’re despicable! Trying to offer me charity, after what you’ve done? I respected you once, but this-- _thing_ you’re doing? It’s _sick_.”

Her strides became a sprint as she wound up a punch, raised high, and began to bring it down over his head. Steven barely managed to raise his shield in time, but the impact wasn’t as jarring as it should have been as he shot into the water, and was pulled out, far away from Jasper before resurfacing. Lapis was looking on with scared eyes, one hand raised, and he understood what was happening.

“Jasper, I’m _not_ Rose! I only have her gem! I’m someone else!” He called out.

“Liar!” She whipped around. “You always chose your battles because you understood what _power_ was. With so few gems, you had the chain of command in shambles. High ranking elites were picked off, and when it came time for full-scale conflicts, you used the organic life of this _disgusting_ planet to even the odds.” And then she charged. Her thundering steps rippled across the surface. “This is just another one of those tricks! Now that you’re trapped in this tiny, _pathetic_ form, you want to taint me like you did all the rest!”

Steven formed a bubble around himself and _braced_. Her fists came down like hammers, the shock absorbed all across his body as they slammed against the barrier, cracking it.

“WELL I WON’T LET YOU!” Her head reared back, then _slammed_ forward, shattering the bubble into pink shards. “I won’t let this place break me like it broke her…”

Jasper attempted to lift him again, but Lapis reached out once more, and the large gem’s arms were pulled back just enough for Steven to scramble away. 

“You!” Jasper turned, and grasped at the chains around her arms. Steven watched as her form flexed and the water around her solidified as she pulled back and up with both hands, launching Lapis into the air, over and past, until she crashed down on the other side and gasped in pain. “If it weren’t for you, I would have broken Rose right there on that beach! You’re nothing together, and you’re even less apart! But for now you’re still useful, so we stay together. You’re _mine_ Lazuli, so just sit back and watch!”

_This is all a dream. I’ll come out okay._ Steven told himself as Jasper bore down one last time. He pushed through every nerve in his body screaming out that he should run, and put on a brave face for Lapis. His shield came out, and he stood as tall as possible, and when Jasper came to wrench it away, he held firm, struggling against her grip.

“Lapis!” He called across the distance. The blue gem struggled to one knee. “You’re you! Just like I’m not Rose! No one can take that away from you, no matter how strong they are! That’s what I wanted to tell you on the ship! You’re _free_! All you have to do is want it for yourself!”

Lapis’ eyes were shining. “Find us Steven! We’re on an island, I’ll keep us here as long as I can. Everything has a face here! I-I can’t--”

Jasper’s fist made contact with the side of his head, and Steven could feel himself disappearing from wherever this was. But before he did, he could see determination in Lapis as she began to rise.

* * *

Steven bolted upright. He was back in the loft, sweaty and sore, despite having no bruises. A palm came to his cheek, afraid to find a swollen mess, but it only stung a little.

“I’m alive.” He whispered.

Pearl was sitting below with Garnet, talking quietly until they noticed Steven had woken up. The clock read 7:30 AM. He scrambled to put on a fresh pair of pants and shirt.

“Good morning, Steven!” Pearl said with a broad smile. “As soon as Spinel and Amethyst get back, we have--”

“No time!” Steven spoke over her, pocketing his phone just in case. “I know where Malachite is!”

“What!?” Pearl cried. “How?”

He was already descending the stairs. “I had a dream, and I was in a place with Lapis and Jasper, and it was green and scary, but Lapis is doing her best to get control, and right now they’re on Mask Island!”

“Steven, that was just a dream.” Garnet tried to calm him down. 

“No!” Steven shouted. “I know what I saw, and it was _real_!”

Pearl shared a look with Garnet. He could remember a time when they would only humor him, but when the gems looked back, both of them were serious. “Alright, we’ll go. But we should wait for Amethyst and Spinel.”

Garnet adjusted her shades. “No. We have to go now. That fusion is unstable and dangerous. This is our chance to strike.” And looked to Pearl. “Sardonyx should be more than enough if Lapis is holding Malachite back.”

Steven let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. “Thanks, you guys!” He opened the door to leave. “You take the warp pad, I’ll meet you there on Lion!”

He cupped his hands, and called to the air. “LIOOOOOON!!” There was a roar, and a pulsing pink-white glow as a portal opened and the great cat slid out, battle-ready. Steven mounted up quickly, taking hold of two tufts of mane. “Come on buddy, we’ve gotta go to Mask Island, prompto!” Lion grumbled in understanding, and gained speed, galloping across the ocean waves, until roaring one more time, launching a portal forward. As they soared through the gateway, blue and white-lights coursing past, Steven had a terrible thought.

_How long did it take me to wake up?_

* * *

**Jasper** couldn’t even begin to describe her disappointment as Rose disappeared from the headspace she shared with Lapis.

“What a disgrace.” She spat, and turned to Lazuli, who was standing now, eyes shimmering with… was that _hope_? “Oh, inspired, are we? How _like_ you. You weren’t there, but if you look far enough inside, you’ll see how Rose _really_ treated her soldiers. When I emerged, perfect and powerful, it was surrounded by a bunch of malformed _freaks_. Weaklings. _Runts_, like that Amethyst, and like Rose is now. Everyone fought all the same, and for those brief few minutes, I thought I felt camaraderie. Despite our differences, we stood for the same goal, and even if I had to carry their weight, it would be because we believed in the cause that we'd succeed.”

The shackles around both of them came undone.

“But it was all an illusion! Belief doesn’t mean anything. Belief is malleable, it can be twisted, and used against you. When Rose and her army set upon us, barely formed, I fought with everything I had, and watched as one by one, my allies disappeared. Four for every single, _solitary_ Crystal Gem we defeated. It was a disaster. But in the end, when I stood atop a mountain of her own defeated kind, and Rose had claimed many of our own gems, stolen away in bubbles, I managed to lock eyes with her, and saw none of the pathetic softness those traitors droned on about later. I saw a will to _win_. And when she retreated, taking what she could, I knew at once that it wasn’t cowardice.”

Both of their gems glowed, as the realm began to fall apart. The water fell away in misshapen sloughs, the green light bleeding to golden haze as the pitch-dark sky above cracked, revealing the light of a distant star.

“But it wasn’t until later that I understood what power _really_ is. Power is absolute! It’s the only rule of the universe. When I fought again, and I saw some of the gems I believed to be comrades on the other side- and shattered them like it was nothing, I _understood_. Rose was powerful, but limited. Her strength came from the flaws she surrounded herself with, while the Diamonds understood that a strong society must be kept _perfect_ to _stay_ strong. Rose is doing the same thing she did then, Lazuli. You’re nothing to her. Just a weapon for her to point at me, and a loss she can cut when things go wrong.”

Finally, the realm disappeared entirely, and both of them were standing in the middle of a jungle island, surrounded by trees. The closest source of water, a small river, was half a mile away, meanwhile _she_ was only 30 feet from the small, blue gem.

“But I’ll give you one chance, Lapis Lazuli. You’re not like them. Not like this-- _place_. If you cooperate now and help bring Rose back, I’ll put in a good word for you with your Diamond. We don’t even have to fuse.” She grinned wide, and offered a hand. “What do you say?”

The steel in Lazuli’s eyes wavered for only a moment. Enough for Jasper to understand what an _excellent_ job she’d done placing doubt in the powerful gem. Lazuli would feel a need to prove herself now, but fighting here was a fool’s game.

“I…” Lapis began, staring at her hands. “I’m not going to be manipulated. By you, or anyone else! I am my own gem!” Sloppy wings of water sprouted behind the blue gem, and suddenly more came pouring through the trees, twin spouts that combined and crashed against her. “I am Lapis Lazuli! I’m me, and nobody else!” 

But it was nothing. Arms crossed in front, Jasper dug into the dirt with her boots and pushed forward. Lapis had gotten ahold of the river quicker than she'd expected, and that meant this would have to end fast. The pressure wouldn’t weaken any time soon, but Jasper could break through it. Her form shifted as she curled inwards, becoming a burning, spinning ball of energy, cleaving the offending stream in two and slamming into Lapis, knocking her into a tree. There was a sickening snap as the tree was cracked at the foundation, as was Lapis’ gem. Not for the first time, Jasper noted with satisfaction.

The blue gem, crumpled on the floor, rose to her knees, and attempted to sprout her wings again, but they fizzled and splashed, barely dampening the ground. “No! No, not again, I--” Lapis looked up to Jasper with eyes like mirrors as she took her time walking over. The blue gem’s hands shook as they reached out to the scattered puddles, but Jasper didn’t even react, and it was in that moment Lapis realized just how futile it all was. “Steven, I’m sorry, I… I couldn’t do it.” 

Jasper gave the crippled gem a deep frown. “It’s a shame you chose to believe in someone who doesn’t believe in you.” She reached down, and picked her up by the neck.

“Steven will come for me. I know he will.” There was conviction there. Something Jasper was sure Lapis would lose with time.

“I’m counting on it.”

And squeezed once, until the gem’s form was no more.

“You’re more useful to me like this. And I know just where to put you…”

* * *

**Steven** landed at one of the island’s shores, and if he’d had more time, he would have stopped a moment to appreciate all the split geodes and prismatic shapes they made in the sun, but as it was, he commanded Lion to climb the weird, tower-like mountain that was cleaved in two so they could get a better vantage point.

“LAAAAAPIIIIIS!!” He shouted to the dense jungle beneath, and heard a cry in response from the other side, but was almost disappointed to find it was only Pearl on the other side of the split.

“Steven!” She shouted across the way. “Garnet is guarding the warp! They must have de-fused by now or else we’d see Malachite! We’ve got to split up and look for them! Call out as soon as you find anything!”

“Got it!”

And at once, he scanned the treetops, but found that was pretty much useless since the only thing moving above them was birds and he didn’t have super-vision like the gems seemed to. If they were anywhere, they had to be hiding somewhere below.

_Or already gone._

Steven shook his head. A thought like that wasn't welcome right now.

Lion carried Steven through the jungle, moving quickly, Steven shouting the whole way, hope heavy in his heart. Some time later, he finally found something.

“Pearl!” His voice carried dull through the trees, throat a little sore.

It took Pearl less than a minute to arrive from wherever she’d been. Scattered across a small clearing were puddles on a clear, sunny day, and a tree that had been cracked and bent over. Once, he might have called what was in the dirt scribbles, but he was pretty sure some of those symbols had been in Spinel’s letter. He spoke up once she came close enough.

“Is this gem writing?” It was clear from her face that it was.

“I’m afraid so.” She frowned. “It’s barely legible though.”

“Well, what does it say?”

“‘Come Alone Rose’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one came out fast. I feel like I should clarify now that I'm not on either side of Lapis/Jasper discourse. I think it was interesting and am just doing my best to make them both complete characters apart from each other here.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading, as ever. <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stop me if you've heard this one before. So, three insecure girls who are bad at talking about themselves go on a gem hunt...

For the longest time, **Amethyst** had just slept through most of her nights (and sometimes the days, too), but lately she couldn’t help wanting to _do_ stuff. What, exactly, didn’t really matter. With who, well… usually Spinel. And the _how_ would always come together while they planned and traveled.

After the meeting, everyone split off for the night. Pearl and Garnet went off on their own, and it was impossible to miss the way Spinel started slowing down. Obviously, she was keeping whatever her real feelings were about what had happened to herself, but Amethyst had no plans to pry. That ‘feeling’ stuff wasn’t the sort of thing she was big on (because she didn’t want to be, of course, not because she’d be bad at it), but all the same, a face that sad had no place on the liveliest gem she knew.

So she made a big thing to Spinel, about how, if she was gonna stand up for humans, she oughta do what humans did-- whatever she thought was cool, and asked if that made her think of anything. A couple days ago, Steven apparently showed her a video about some ‘parkour legends’ jumping gaps between skyscrapers over in China, so now Spinel wanted to do the same thing, but had no idea where that was. It seemed sorta weird, since the challenge would be lost on them, but it also meant seeing some sights, and if they were gonna be roof-jumping, then they’d _definitely_ piss off some squares in the process, which she was always down to do.

Together, they moved onto the warp pad, and Amethyst brought them as close as possible- to a remote warp in some obscure mountainside- before they had to hike down foggy slopes and dense forests of tall, narrow trees. Halfway across the world, it should have been bright and sunny, but instead there were thick, heavy clouds in the air, threatening to bring rain down at any second. The weather was kind of lame, and it made her more than a little drowsy, but Spinel just thought it was cool, same as every other type of sky she’d seen.

(It reminded Amethyst of the days after Rose had first found _her_, mimicking whatever she saw, not knowing how dangerous storms could be, not understanding anything, not knowing anything was wrong-- with herself, with the planet, with the others, with a world she’d never seen and never wanted to and never could anyways)

The walk was peppered with questions from Spinel about what Amethyst knew about _this_ place, about what was here, if she’d ever been, and why. The air was so thick with moisture it felt more like they were swimming than walking, and it was all she could do just to keep up with those questions _and_ Spinel’s _constant_ extra movement.

That was something she’d noticed about the pink gem. It was just absolutely _impossible_ for her to stay still. Sitting cross-legged, listening to Garnet was the stillest she’d ever seen Spinel, but even then, she was still moving. Her knees were shifting, bobbing up and down, or her arms would stretch just a little and her hands would mesh, and squeeze and squeeze and _squeeze_, until Amethyst could actually _hear_ the light scraping against itself. It was to the point that she had to wonder if the pink gem was even aware of it.

All in all, it was kind of...

Exhausting.

But, every time _that_ thought rolled around-- every time tiredness started creeping in, and Spinel came along asking about something else, some _other_ thoughts got a little louder-- about how it felt when she wanted to do something with Rose, but the big gem was too busy with her humans to hang out (the way they made Pearl mad was never worth losing that), or how it might have been more fun to hang out with Garnet if she wasn’t always _super obviously_ judging her performance, or attitude, or whatever the hell else the fusion felt like making her focus on that day. And, Spinel didn’t care about _any_ of that. She just wanted to hang out with a friend, with someone she thought was cool, and not lame at all, and, sometimes even smart, and every time it started to border on that ‘feeling’ stuff, like there might be something to talk about, like it was a problem, Amethyst ignored it- same as ever- and they went out anyways.

And, that was fine, wasn’t it? She _liked_ spending time with Spinel. Spinel was funny, she was creative, and a fast learner, and there was _so much_ for them to do and see out there in the world, and Spinel hadn’t even started eating yet.

So... they went out together, and that was fine.

* * *

It never did rain. Those clouds just hung up miserably in the sky the whole time. Amethyst started lagging behind, so Spinel offered a ride on one extended shoulder, and if it came from anyone else, she might have taken that as patronizing, but instead it was Spinel, so she accepted. Ignoring the crowd that started shouting as soon as the pink gem started to scale a building with her extendo-limbs, they were pretty much alone.

“So, how do you wanna do this?” Spinel asked. “Race from one end to the other? Best stunt? Rooftop leapfrog?”

Amethyst yawned, dead tired. “Uh…” And placed one foot precariously on the edge, looking down. It wasn’t that long ago she got her gem cracked just for a joke. This far out from the fountain, if she ended up being unable to give directions, it would be game over. “Ugh… I hate having to be smart… Hey, Spring?”

“_Nyes_, Amy?”

“I think I gotta sit down for a bit. Why don’t you like, scout out a cool route or something, and, uh. Come back when you’re done.”

“... Oh.” Spinel’s hands began to mesh, and Amethyst sighed involuntarily. The pink gem’s words became fast. “Of course! Yeah, no problem, I’ll… I’ll be back! In...” Amethyst’s eyes drooped. “In a little while.”

“... Cool.”

Amethyst leaned back against a steel roof-access, and watched as Spinel hesitated, then leapt away. Being awake didn’t last much longer than that.

* * *

**Spinel** carried across the roofs, wind whipping as she sailed by, single bounds all it took to make the gaps. Amethyst was asleep. That was fine. Steven slept all the time. He was human, and it was necessary for him. And, sleep was good for relieving stress, or, so she’d been told. And, things _had_ been awfully stressful for the Crystal Gems lately, hadn’t they? Pearl and Garnet didn’t sleep, though, so, something just had to be stressing Amethyst _more_.

“What could it be…”

She focused on precision. Landing on the raised edges of the roof-tops, prancing across the barred railings. Did a few front flips for fun.

“What’s _different_…”

Garnet was almost always out searching. The fusion seemed tireless. Maybe that was just how she thought a leader had to be, or, maybe that was just how the pair relieved stress. Spinel could certainly understand that. Pearl seemed to be the same way, always _buried_ in work. By training, by thoughts, with research. But Pearl was slowing down too. Little by little, they all were, but, Amethyst was about ready to drop. And did! They were all working, but…

“But, Amethyst has…”

There was a long gap coming up. Spinel vaulted forward, and came to a conclusion, words slowing.

“She has to deal with me.”

Everything felt distant for a moment. _It’s me._ The far side of the building raced to meet her head. _It’s me--_ the collision set her right. Quickly, she reached an arm upward, extending to take hold of the raised ledge. Below was a two-hundred fifty foot drop. Spinel was grateful it hadn’t started raining just yet.

Quickly, she pulled herself up, and began to retrace the route. There were some flashing white lights far beneath, some people shouting, but Spinel ignored it, and arrived to see Amethyst still sleeping. _Snoring_. Spinel stared. It had been at least thirty minutes, so… that was enough time, right? They could get back to having fun... Right? A hand reached out, extending to Amethyst’s shoulder, but froze halfway.

_I… that wouldn’t be good, would it?_

Spinel shrank back, frown deep, mouth parted, a small noise escaping.

Her arms sagged, and she felt heavy all of a sudden. Spinel sat down, head leaned against the railings opposite Amethyst some ten feet away, and stared.

“I… I can’t do this again.” _Too boring. Too stupid. Too **exhausting**._ Amethyst was just keeping it to herself. It was all forced. _Fake_. Only a matter of time before the little entertainer became too boring for the small gem to even fake it. “I… I…”

_What did I do wrong this time?_

Spinel walked through the memories. Amethyst’s face always seemed so happy, but…

_Would I really know?_

The times they spent together were cut through by flashes of Pink’s degrading expression. Their faces became one, as she thought of the purple gem frowning, disappointed. Spinel tugged at her pony-tail, squeezed the side of her head.

“No, no, no! She never looked like that-- Quit it!”

But, it was always possible she could soon. Spinel gripped at her gem, and felt a familiar ache weighing it down. Pearl said she had a right to her feelings, and to understand them, but they all hurt, and that told her the risk just wasn’t worth it. When Amethyst woke up, she’d ask to head back instead, and wouldn’t bother the gem any more. For now, though, the purple gem could sleep. 

Waiting was the least she could do for a friend.

* * *

Hours passed while Spinel counted seconds. All the while, she couldn’t help thinking of Pink Diamond. About being good enough for people, and for herself. Finally, the clouds let down what they were holding. First in droplets, then in a heavy storm. When Amethyst woke to catch the eyes of a staring Spinel, legs pulled close to her chest, there was something complicated there, past the initial confusion.

“Wha--” Amethyst began, getting up. Spinel did too. “Did you just let me sleep?”

“... Yeah?”

“You… coulda woken me up.” She buried a hand in her lavender hair. “But. Thanks, I guess.” There was a long pause, where they both looked at each other. Spinel broke it with a small laugh.

“Uh, shame about the rain, huh? Guess we’ll have to head back.” She hoped the forced smile didn’t give anything away.

“Well, I mean-- we walked all the way out here, so, why let it go to waste?” Amethyst pushed, like she wasn’t really sure herself.

“If… that’s what you want.”

“If, that’s what _you_ want. You... want that, right?”

Spinel spun, no longer able to make eye contact. “Ha, uh, sure!” Stars above, she was _awful_ at lying to her. Of course, in some ways it wasn’t a lie. She still _did_ want to run and jump and scale with the gem, it was just… less what she wanted to do if it wasn’t what _Amethyst_ wanted to do.

“Of course I do.” She said, and it sounded sincere, but there was something else there too. Paranoia filled in the blank with every awful thing imaginable. Spinel shook her head, put on some cheer, and turned.

“Then, let’s do it!”

And they did. Moving, from the moment she broke free of those vines, hadn’t stopped feeling good. Momentum was beautiful. Pushing forward with powerful leaps, challenging herself to plant firmly, despite the weather, was invigorating. Slanted metal formed waterfalls that became rivers which flowed and broke against cracked plaster and large tiles. Both of them splashed in the little lakes that formed in the planters and divots, a mad dash through a concrete canopy Spinel couldn’t help finding just as beautiful as the forests they’d marched through on the way here.

But, when she looked back to make sure Amethyst was keeping up, over and through the noise, when they weren’t laughing jumping over security guards who had to stick it out in the rain, and their eyes met, both of their expressions shifted. It was notable, and anxious, and Spinel looked forward again, feeling guilty every time. Slowly, the adrenaline and satisfaction of her performance was ebbed away by an ever-increasing sense of fear. And Amethyst’s leaps got worse and worse, until--

“I gotcha!!”

Spinel, on the opposite side of the gap, watched as Amethyst set her foot down on the edge and slipped clean off, spiraling backwards, shout barely even audible over the wind and rain. She shot out an arm instantly, wrapping around Amethyst’s own outstretched, so tightly that the rain wouldn’t be enough to let her slip away. The two of them shared a look for a few moments. Relief, comfort, and something more, like validation, before it came back to the same anxious expression they’d shared the entire time.

Spinel pulled her up, and after a few seconds, managed to speak.

“Let’s... go back.”

“Yeah, it’s too…” The words were swallowed by the storm. “... Let’s go back...”

* * *

**Connie** was left more than a little anxious by Steven’s message the other night. Not the bad kind, per-say, but the last time Steven had something to talk about, it was about being kidnapped into space by a violent gem that thought he was his mom, crashing back to Earth, and the uncomfortable likelihood that it wouldn’t even be the last time that happened. So, for him to send ‘can’t say more’, she figured it was either because he was afraid the gems would check his phone (which, she could more than understand, given her own home) or it was something just as complicated all over again.

The spiralling worry that her concern might end up affecting her performance in tennis practice too much and her mother would decide Steven was too much of a distraction and revoke her ability to visit today ended up being unimportant since it was canceled last minute when her instructor called out due to the flu. All said, she was actually _early_, arriving to the beach house at 10:00 AM. She only hoped Steven was actually awake _and_ home by now, or else the wait would be pretty awkward.

Connie opened the door and began to carefully, quietly look around.

“No one’s… home?”

A beam of light shot down onto the warp pad, bright blue glow and pleasant shing carried through the house. Spinel and Amethyst came down, soaked and miserable looking. Connie put fingertips to her chin, frown concerned.

“Oh, no luck with the latest ocean search?”

Spinel perked up at hearing her voice, eyes snapping to. “Oh! No, it was just… raining.” Her tone dipped, as did her expression. “I’ll, uh, go somewhere else.”

Connie tilted her head, able to catch the weird, distraught expression Amethyst had before turning to Spinel with a more eager one. “No, wait, we’ve got to tell Steven, remember?”

“Oh, right.”

Connie walked closer, peering up to the loft to see her friend wasn’t home. “Tell Steven what?”

Amethyst’s lips turned into a zipper which she closed. Spinel giggled quietly, and answered.

“It’s a secret for now. But, if ya stick around, we can tell you, too.”

Connie grinned. “Oooh, magic secrets? I’d _love_ to hear it!”

“Good.” Spinel said, and looked around. “... Uh, where are they, anyways?”

“Dunno.” Amethyst’s zipper lips parted. “I’ll go check their rooms.” And took fast steps over to the door. Spinel stared after her for a moment, then turned back to Connie with a smile as fake as the ones she had to to give her mother sometimes.

“Hey, you happen to see ‘em on the way up here kiddo?”

“No ma’am.” Connie hummed, hoping to be helpful. “But, if they’re gone, I’m sure Pearl left a note. She’s usually very meticulous.”

Spinel stepped around, squeaking in the silence, smile wearing little by little. “You don’t gotta call me ‘ma’am’, you know. Uh, actually, _please_ don’t.” And hummed in turn, filling the air. “Nothing on the re-fridge-a-rator. Nothin’ on the table…” Spinel looked out the window. “They wouldn’t have just… left, would they?”

Connie cast a glance back to the temple door. Then to Spinel. Was this what Steven wanted to talk about? Were Amethyst and Spinel fighting? Was it too forward to ask about something like that? Was it even really her place to?

_… Maybe. Pearl’s training me now, and… and I’m only as aware and involved as I make myself. I’m part of Steven’s world too, and that means his friends are my friends! Or, at least, that’s probably what he’d say if he were here._

“Hey, Spinel.” She swallowed the nerves. “Are you and Amethyst… Having a fight?”

“What!?” Spinel’s neck extended, head turning 180 degrees. “No, of course not. What, uh, makes you say that?”

“Well, you both looked upset just now.” It was tempting to offer an escape, seeing the way Spinel’s body sagged, but over time she’d learned direct statements were the best for getting answers.

“She looked upset?” Spinel’s voice got a little quieter. Suddenly the answer felt unimportant.

“I-I’m sure she’s just stressed, you know?” Connie offered hopefully. That didn’t help. “There’s just a lot going on. I’m sure it was nothing!”

“... Right. Nothing.”

Spinel busied herself with looking out the window again.

“... That could’ve gone better.” Connie whispered to herself.

Amethyst emerged from the door, lips normal again. “They’re not here. I think we were out for too long.” Spinel looped an arm to rub the back of her neck. Connie spoke up.

“What were you supposed to do?”

Spinel looked back, but didn’t move. “We were s’posed to go lookin for a gem together with Steven, but, I guess they left without us.”

“... Oh!” Connie fidgeted, then took out her phone. “I know how we can find out. I’ll call Steven.” The dial tone sounded as she clicked the number from the list. (“Oh, so that’s a ‘_phone_’,” Spinel said quietly.) It continued, until reaching Steven’s cheery voice mail. “Or… not.”

“Wasn’t that his voice?” Spinel asked, now fully turned away from the window.

“Just his answering machine.” She responded. “It’s a voice message you get sent to when they don’t-- er, can’t pick up. Afterwards, you can leave your own message when it--” The beep interrupted. “Hey Steven! Tennis practice was canceled today, so I’m actually here early. Uh, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I should’ve just called ahead of time? B-But anyways, uh, Spinel and Amethyst are with me, and, I guess I’ll just wait until you get home? Call me back as soon as you can so I know everything’s okay! Byeee~!” She hung up.

“You don’t gotta wait.” Amethyst directed an upturned palm to the warp pad. “Let’s just catch up to ‘em.”

“You want me to come _with_ you?” Connie gasped. “But, what if you meet that gem? Wouldn’t I just get in the way? I don’t even have a sword!”

“Pshh.” Amethyst gave a dismissive wave. “We’re just walking around a big canyon. And, if you need a sword, it’s not like Pearl doesn’t have a bunch of ‘em. Hel-- Uh, _heck_, I’m still hanging onto at least _ten_ that fell from those dumb waterfalls of hers."

“I dunno…” She put a hand to her chin. “I don’t think Pearl wants me going on missions yet.”

Amethyst groaned, and dragged a hand up her face, pushing back hair. “Who _cares_ what Pearl thinks? Doesn’t she want the two of you working together anyways?”

Spinel’s hand was suddenly on her shoulder. “I’m sure Steven’d be happy to see ya. I know it’s not exciting, but, why not make it your first mission together?”

“Yeah, there you go!” Amethyst added, looking up to Spinel. “Two’s better than one… Right?” The nervous tension in the air became a little thinner. And with that, Connie finally felt sure enough.

“Okay. Let’s do it!” Amethyst and Spinel cheered, and helped search through the purple gem’s room for a fitting sword. Connie, to her credit, only became distracted twice by the incredible store of historical doodads and apparel mixed in with everything else before agreeing on a long cutlass with a broad, intricately patterned hand-guard.

When they warped off, Connie couldn’t help trying to fill the silence that immediately followed.

“So, which gem are we looking for?”

“Oh, uh, right, you weren’t there for all this. Duh.” Amethyst folded her arms. “We’re hoping to find Peridot at the old Kindergarten. Steven’s probably told you what those are, right?”

“Sort of? I know it’s where Gems are made.”

“Pretty much.” She shrugged her shoulders and frowned. “It’s like a big canyon with a bunch of holes, and some rocks, and the stuff that makes us. We think she might be trying to reactivate it to make soldiers since Jasper’s not gonna be able to protect her.”

“But, it probably won’t work.” Spinel chimed in. “There’s no more life for her to take there. ‘Course, she might be able to move ‘em, and if she has, we’ll see signs a that. So, worst case scenario, she’s actually given us a _way_ smaller area to look in.”

“I see…” Connie nodded, taking it all in. Steven had never mentioned that it took life to make Gems before. She supposed being able to make more was part of what made his mother so special, then.

After what seemed like far too long, they landed in the Kindergarten, on a raised plateau of stone in layers of color much like Amethyst, if a little redder. The sight was like nothing she’d ever read, and would surely have defied explanation if she hadn’t already known about the gems. Scattered across the walls and valleys below were tall, mostly metal structures with long crystalline heads. Connie narrowed her eyes at one, stepping closer to the edge, and supposed these must be the ‘injectors’. A few were already shattered, some pink long-since spilled from the glass chambers. The sky should have been blue, but instead a strange, not-quite fog permeated the air, turning the world a thin, cold shade of grey.

Spinel spared her a small, proud smile when she landed fine on her own, before staring at the sight herself, eyes on something neither of them could see.

“You were made here, right?” Spinel said suddenly, presumably to Amethyst. The purple gem said something resembling ‘yeah’. “Then, I guess that makes you the last gem Pink ever had a part in making.”

“Uh… What?” Amethyst’s eyes narrowed, confused.

“The Diamonds. That’s where we all come from.” Spinel didn’t move. “Seems funny, to think you wouldn’t know. Sweat, tears, whatever they leave behind. When White Diamond said production was falling behind, Blue would use her powers to _make_ Pink cry.” Spinel’s hands curled into fists, then released, arms listless. “I… looking at this, it’s hard to believe she ever really wanted it. I’ve never seen one of these in person, so…”

Connie wasn’t sure what to say. When she looked to Amethyst, hoping another gem might, there was only the same conflict. Spinel turned with a strained smile.

“But, listen to me, talkin’ like I should care about the gem that left me behind. That’s… funny, right?”

Neither of them said anything. Connie reached out a hand. “Spinel--”

The pink gem turned around. “I gotcha. We oughta get movin’! I’m gonna, split off, and... We’ll cover more ground that way, and, Amethyst, you know the place better, so, you should stick with Connie. If I find anything, you’ll know.”

And before either of them could say anything (though it didn’t look like Amethyst wanted to), Spinel sprang away, bouncing off the steeply sloped cliffs of the Kindergarten, grabbing handholds from hole to hole.

“You’re… not gonna talk to her?” Connie asked, unable to help herself.

“It’s none of my business!” Amethyst said, surprisingly sharp. “If she wants to talk about… _whatever_, then she will.”

“So, you’re _not_ having a fight?”

“I’m trying to _avoid_ a fight.” Amethyst groaned, and turned to face her with a pointed finger. “I mean, look, it’s not _your_ business either! I know you and Steven wanna talk about every little thing, but life’s not nice enough for every problem to just… be something you can fix. If Spinel thought I could help, then she’d have said something, but, obviously I can’t!” 

Amethyst wore the hurt on her sleeve, and dragged a hand down her face. “Ughh, what am I _doing_?” The hand raked through her hair as she sighed, apologetic. “None of this is your fault. Steven says your parents want you to be something else, and, I’m not gonna say something bad just because you wanna be like Steven. He’s… pretty alright.” The tone made it clear she thought the world of him. “Come on, I’ll help you down, and we can start looking together.”

Connie did her best to recover from the emotional whiplash she’d just seen and felt. It was perhaps an understatement to say there was a lot going on she didn’t have the full context for yet, but, like Steven, she didn’t want to give up just because it might be hard to figure out. Amethyst and Spinel had always been nice, and she just wanted a chance to help somehow.

“Sure.” Connie finally answered. “I mean, they can’t be _that_ far, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, like, gem production is weird, right? They're supposed to absorb nutrients or life or something from the earth, and Pearl's explanation says 'crust', but they're obviously planted into rock walls and come out that way, right? And, RS said injectors use diamond sweat, but Steven never accidentally made a Pebble in all his years on Earth? I guess you could say something about not knowing he had the power so it didn't happen, but then, that's not how his resurrecting _or_ his floating work, so, maybe it had to do with Steven's body developing enough to handle more of the power in Pink's gem? It's probably the latter, since that would explain how spontaneous some of his powers are, but either way, I'm making the executive decision that diamond essence is the same whether its sweat or not, and has to be channeled or processed in some way/be made with enough emotion relevant to the endeavor to do anything. Of course, it's always possible I just missed something along the way, and we already know more about this.
> 
> Anyways, probably breaking up the upcoming events into two chapters. I didn't respond to all of them, but the emotional response last chapter got filled my heart right up.
> 
> Production rate will be slower for a while because life has really been coming at me in waves lately, but next time we'll actually get to the action like I was going to before. I'll thank you in advance for patience, and as always, thank you so much for reading. <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some _meat_? Uh, the storytelling kind, that is. Tags were updated, and the darker parts of Keeping it Together are coming up, so, you know, fair warning.

**Steven** was sitting cross-legged in the dirt, hands on either side of his head, staring down and thinking intensely. Garnet’s arms were crossed, and Pearl had a hand to her chin.

“This is definitely where a fight took place.” Garnet concluded. “The flow of the nearby river has been disturbed, and a trail of water leads to here. There’s a single cracked tree, but a trail of crushed trees leading in from the ocean in only one direction.”

“The writing is smaller than any of Malachite’s digits are.” Pearl picked up. “And doesn’t appear to have been made by water in any way. There’s also no evidence that either gem was shattered.” Garnet nodded.

“So, before they defused, one of the pair lead them here. If it’s away from the water, we can assume Jasper was in control at the time. And by the limited destruction, either Lapis got away, or it was a short fight.” She adjusted her shades. “But the message indicates that Jasper is holding Lapis hostage. How twisted.”

Steven shuddered. “I-I think Lapis must have tried to fight her.” His voice was sort of hoarse, and weary. “She looked so determined when I got knocked out of that dream, but, I didn’t want her to fight! I just wanted her to… to be…”

Neither of them completed the sentence. Pearl spoke again.

“‘Come Alone Rose’... Come _where_?”

Garnet lowered her voice. “It must be somewhere she thinks Steven would remember.”

“But, I’m not my mom!” Steven whined, grip on his head tightening. 

_This is terrible… Why can’t we just catch a break?_

Pearl came over and crouched, gentle hands pulling his own away and out from his hair. She squeezed softly while he looked up with a sniffle, her thumbs running along the back of his hands. Pearl’s smile was warm, voice reassuring. “Anywhere Rose would have been in the war, I’d know. And if the location we’re searching for is somewhere they met, then there are only so many battlefields for us to search.”

“And we can narrow that down further.” Garnet kneeled to place a hand against his back. “Jasper won’t know how to bubble gems, and there’s no nearby objects suitable for binding. If Lapis is a hostage, then Jasper’s smart enough to take her somewhere far away from water.”

“But, how’s she gonna do that?” Steven worked. “It rains everywhere on Earth!”

Garnet frowned. “Not everywhere.”

Pearl gasped. “You don’t think...?”

“It’s possible. She could very well be headed to the Kindergarten. Either of them.”

“Either of them?” Steven repeated.

“There’s more than one.” Pearl answered reluctantly. “Though, the one you’ve seen is in far better condition than the other.” She looked to Garnet. “You understand what her insignia would indicate, yes?”

Garnet placed a fist against her chin. “Only the second ever received support. However, there’s little to be gained by drawing us to that area. If her and Peridot share the same mission, then it’s far more likely she’d visit the first one.” Her shades caught a beam of sunlight. “Assuming, of course, that she hasn’t taken Lapis to a desert, a volcano, or any number of other terrains under the threat of being shattered for acting out.”

Pearl sighed, thumbs still. “It's like we're back where we started...”

“Not quite,” Garnet looked between the two of them with the smile of a leader. “There’s a lot less land than there is ocean. And we’ve already got a few good ideas! We'll find them.”

Steven nodded, regaining some of his spirit, and they all stood when he did. “We’ll find them.” It was a promise.

* * *

By the time they got back, the sun was much higher in the sky. The search had worn him out, but there was a lot of day left to go. He sighed, and slumped into the couch.

“We should brief the others immediately.” Garnet commanded. “Steven, rest up. We’ll need your help in the search.” And disappeared through the temple door.

There was a brief pause, where Pearl seemed to be thinking, before another sigh came out. “Honestly, I can’t believe they’re not here already.” Pearl scolded, working herself up while she searched. “I hope Amethyst hasn’t dragged Spinel on another inane trip and lost track of time. I can’t expect _her_ to keep track accurately yet, but Amethyst should know better by now, and the least they could do every time they disappear is leave a note. Ugh, frankly, I don't understand why…”

The words faded away as Steven’s thoughts turned inwards. He couldn’t help wondering how often gems were broken in the war. It seemed like exaggeration at the time, but maybe the battlefield where Lion found mom’s scabbard really _was_ a ‘something something of destruction and death’. 

... Did that make it okay?

The Gems fought those monsters, once their friends (still their friends), to contain them. He used to idolize the idea of fighting alongside the Crystal Gems, and for once it was really starting to feel like he was one. But, what if standing up for the Earth meant having to hurt people who didn’t deserve it? People who weren’t monsters?

Lapis wasn’t a monster, and for the most part, he was able to talk to her, but that was only one gem. His mom tried to talk to Pink Diamond, and that was only one gem, but there was a whole army there too. No matter how good she might have been at talking things out, it wasn’t like she could talk to all of those gems at once. So, if they couldn’t listen, and they wouldn’t, what was there? Were there ways to win that weren’t fighting at that point?

It wasn’t like he could ever beat Jasper in a fight, so, what could he do to make her listen? Was there a way to prove that he wasn’t his mom? And, would that even be enough? It felt right, standing up to her then. It felt good, too, to see the hope in Lapis’ eyes, and it brought him back to the top of the ocean tower, when things were somehow so much simpler, and even more complicated at the same time. But then the hope he gave convinced Lapis to fight, and she'd probably lost for it. His heart lurched. Was this all his fault? That was what he'd asked her to do, back on the ship, wasn't it? Steven wondered if this was how Rose felt all those years ago, and Garnet's words came to mind.

_“Back during the war, Pearl took pride in risking her destruction for your mother. She put Rose Quartz over everything. Over logic, over consequence, over her own life.”_

Were all gems like that? Or, was that too broad? Jasper’s harsh voice cut in.

_“Trying to offer me charity, after what you’ve done?”_ She spat. _“... I won’t let this place break me like it broke her…”_

_‘Her’_. Pink... Diamond? Or, a different casualty?

Steven shook his head. It was too much at once, and he was getting distracted.

Of course shattering wasn’t okay. Pearl may not have been Jasper’s friend, and Jasper may not have been hers, but to someone, both of them had to be a friend. On the other side of things was always a life he could never know everything about. Every single one of those monsters had been a person once, and even if it made his heart ache, he had to fight to take them down. Just like the Gems said.

_Centipeetle…_

What if _she’d_ been shattered during the war? Then he never would’ve had the chance to meet her. The same went for Lapis. Everyone deserved a chance to see the Earth for what it was. Full of life. Full of people just as complicated and important as anyone else. Shattering just meant taking those chances away, and someday, he’d be strong enough to save those corrupted gems. Someday, he’d succeed at what his mom must have tried so hard to do for so long. But even if he wasn’t as great as his mom might have been, even if the road ahead was long and dangerous. Right here, right now, there was still something he _could_ do. And that, was believe in _everyone_.

Steven let out a long breath, and spread across the couch, feeling almost feather-light all of a sudden. He’d be sure to talk to Connie about all of this anyways, but for once, maybe things weren’t so complicated after all. 

_Wait…_

“Connie!” He shouted suddenly. Pearl’s head whipped at the outburst.

“Wh-What? I wouldn’t say Connie’s the type to engage in activities like that.”

“What?” Steven’s eyes narrowed in confusion, before becoming sheepish. “Oh, sorry, I wasn’t listening. It’s just that, I messaged Connie last night because I wanted to hang out today. I thought we’d be done with gem stuff by now, but…” He pulled out his phone. 11:00 AM. One missed call and a message from her. “Oh man, I hope I can let her know before she leaves home.”

The phone slid open, and he thumbed through to pull up voicemail, becoming confused while it played out.

_“Hey Steven! Tennis practice was canceled today, so I’m actually here early. Uh, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I should’ve just called ahead of time? B-But anyways, uh, Spinel and Amethyst are with me, and, I guess I’ll just wait until you get home? Call me back as soon as you can so I know everything’s okay! Byeee~!”_

Garnet returned. “Unless they’re playing a _very_ good game of hide and seek, they’re not here.”

“Connie says Spinel and Amethyst were with her.” Steven said, shifting the phone.

“How long ago was that?” Pearl asked, now also confused.

“Looks like… about an hour ago. Wait,” Steven scratched the back of his head. “Why didn’t I get this earlier? ... _Ohh_, right, there’s no signal on Mask Island.” And, really, he probably would've missed the call anyways. “Here, I’ll just call her back, they’re probably hanging out at the boardwalk together.”

The dial tone stretched on, until eventually reaching Connie’s very formal voice-mail. He left a short message about being at the house, and asked her to call back when she had a chance.

“That’s weird.” He commented. “Since she got her own phone, I don’t think she’s ever missed a call. Why was she worried anyways?”

“Worried?” Pearl repeated. “Did you tell her you were going on a mission today?”

“Nnnope.” Steven pocketed the phone again. “Just said I wanted to talk.”

“Well, she's a _very_ diligent human.” Pearl praised. “Perhaps she was just worried about you.”

Steven felt himself blush, but Garnet folded her arms.

“Or, they were somewhere _else_ that doesn’t get a signal.”

Pearl gasped, covering her mouth, and parted her hands to speak. “Oh, no, you don’t think they went on without us, do you?”

“Well, we didn’t leave a note.” Garnet stated evenly. Pearl blushed, glancing away, and Steven became concerned. “They must have done the responsible thing and gone to meet us. But, because it’s those two, they also thought bringing Connie along would be a good idea. It’s likely that both of them have underestimated how dangerous Peridot can be.”

Steven was already on his feet. “Then we’ve gotta go right now!”

“Don't worry. We will.” Garnet led them over to the warp pad. “But we’ll need to keep our heads together, and avoid any unnecessary panic. Alright Crystal Gems, let's move!”

“Right!” Pearl and Steven said simultaneously.

Steven stood between both of them, and prepared himself. He was a part of this conflict now more than ever. Part of the _team_, now more than ever. And he’d do everything he could to help them. Another promise. Another friend.

The warp came to life, and took them away.

* * *

**Spinel** bound from point to point, scanning below, but her mind was hardly even on the mission. Realistically, the mission was probably well past done already. They were late, because the Crystal Gems had left her behind, after all that talk about working together, and being happy to have her. She should have seen it coming. It should have been obvious.

There was nothing here but rocks and injectors and death. The ground was lifeless, the holes empty, and even the sky seemed dead. It brought her back all too easy, even while she was moving. Even when she began to move faster, to remind herself she wasn’t standing still any more. Even when she screamed, just once, to remind herself she could be heard.

The sound hardly carried. Somehow, it was quiet.

“Gotta… gotta sit down.” She slowed to a stop, and sat down on the edge of a high up hole, staring down, but for some reason the position felt uncomfortable, so she retreated just a little further inwards, knees tucked to her chin, and wrapped her arms around herself, once, twice, until they pressed against her back, like a pathetic little hug.

_“She’s just stressed, you know?”_ Connie said. _“I’m sure it was nothing!”_

“And ain’t it always?” Spinel said quietly to herself. Always nothing until it was something. Except, that wasn’t fair, was it?

_“Two’s better than one… right?”_

“But… what does it _mean!?_”

Every thought _screamed_ in her head about how much it would hurt to trust. But, Jamie did get back in touch once he heard from Mr. Universe. Steven _did_ greet her every morning. Garnet _did_ come back to meet with them, and even told her the full story. These people weren’t like Pink. This wasn’t a game, it wasn’t some kind of sick joke. It was so small, to be left behind for less than a day, even once, but it hurt so much. It hurt worse than most of those days standing alone had.

Spinel sucked in a breath, feeling tears begin to form, and hated the way she couldn’t seem to stop crying over her friend. “Pink… _Pink…_”

She seized, and squeezed against herself, tighter, almost numb to the sensation. It wasn’t fair to them, because they’d shown time and time again that they cared, but it was so hard not to break down. Every part of this planet reminded her of Pink somehow. Brought her back to the garden, dead or alive. If she was with Amethyst, though, it felt somehow possible to forget about it all. Even for just a few minutes. Even for an hour.

_Amethyst..._

_“Two’s better than one… right?”_

She choked on the words. “Why’s it--" Her arms came undone. "Why's it hurt so much to be loved?” A fist raised, and slammed weakly against the wall. “Why can’t I stop thinking about Pink…? Why can’t I stop _caring_…? I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it I HATE IT I HATE IT!!”

Amidst the shallow sobs that followed, in the otherwise dead silence, she could barely hear the sound of something beneath. Mechanical, metal, completely unlike all the rock around her. Below, a diamond shape opened up in the ground, a green platform raising on a slanted elevator, with a tall green gem speaking to herself. Some sort of screen thing floated in front, and she spoke.

“Log date, 6 5 2.” She swiped across the screen a few times, voice smooth and nasal. “This is Peridot, updating status. Still stuck on this _miserable_ planet. The fusion experiments are developing properly, and a few have even emerged early.”

Spinel gawked. The mission wasn’t over? The other Crystal Gems must have still been searching somewhere further ahead. Immediately, a shallow thought beat down all the others. If she could take down Peridot herself, then maybe they'd have a harder time leaving her behind.

“The Cluster has yet to emerge,” She continued. “Though it’s only a matter of time. My options for getting off planet are limited, but there’s no shortage of completely outdated tech I may be able to retrofit into a serviceable state.”

_The Cluster?_ The green gem was walking away now, completely absorbed in herself. Spinel crept down, quiet as could be, stretching to balance on her tippy-toes and reduce squeaking, then followed.

“Still, without any robonoids or repair gel, it will be an arduous task at best…" Her voice became bitter. "Ugh, and _still_ no sign of the Jasper bodyguard assigned to me. She may very well have deserted in order to find her own way off planet, or been captured by the Crystal Gems at this point. Though, if I’m lucky, she’s only found someone _else_ to bore to death with her ‘war stories’. End log.” The floating vertices that made up the screen became digits for a strange, mechanical hand, floating inches off its flat end. It took a lot of self control to not to go 'huh?' out loud.

Spinel waited, then realized Peridot was following a path to the warp pad, snickering occasionally in the quiet (“Bore to death… classic.”).

_Guess that’s as much as I’m gettin’ outta her for now._

Spinel shrugged, then tapped Peridot on one shoulder, prompting a shriek and a turn in that direction, but she was already on the other side, and gave a single hard wallop to the visored gem’s cheek.

“Heya!” She announced herself, other arm already wrapping around Peridot while she recoiled. “You’re comin’ with me.” And squeezed tight for effect.

“A-A Spinel?” Peridot squawked, and gave her a quick look-over. “A _pink_ Spinel!?”

“That’s the name, don’t wear it out.” Spinel lifted her off the ground, and thought it was weird that the green gem hadn’t put up a fight.

“Hang on!” She cried. “You don’t have any stars on you. Y-You’re not a Crystal Gem, right? I don't even care why you're here, we’ve got to get off this planet!”

“Oh? And why’s that?” Spinel had the decency to look curious, batting her eyes. Peridot only scowled.

“Like I should have to explain myself to you!” She snapped. “Assaulting a certified Kindergartener, not just playing along, you’re almost as bad as those Crystal Clods! Who do you belong to?”

Spinel grit her teeth. Even through all the hurt, _that_ was something she knew for sure. “Nobody, pal.” And without warning, stretched her arm forward out at break-neck speed, slamming the green gem into the nearest cliff-face. Dirt clumps fell loose from the shock, Peridot yelped again, and then something between a confident smirk and an even more agitated expression came across her face.

“You _are_ one of them. Fine!” From inside the coil, Spinel could feel those floating digits pressed against her arm. “Like I’ve ever needed anyone but myself anyways.” Suddenly, electricity was coursing through Spinel, causing her to jerk and stutter. The pink gem’s grasp came undone while Peridot flexed away, other arm gestured forward, digits changing shape and gathering energy at the head. A crackling yellow sphere the size of her torso sped across the distance and slammed into Spinel's chest, knocking her flat.

While she peeled herself off the ground, the green gem was gaining distance, the digits of her non-blaster hand reconfigured and whirling at rapid speeds, somehow fast enough to gain lift.

_Ugh, stupid, **stupid** Spinel! Why'd you have to do this alone?_

Spinel stumbled to her feet, moving forward all the while, and began to dodge some fairly inaccurate shots. The Kindergarten seemed to have a hard time carrying noise, so if she wanted to get everyone’s attention, it would take something _loud_.

“Ah, maybe I can…?” Her pinky extended, looping around in gradually larger circles, curling upwards, while the inside of her hand subtly morphed to become air-tight, until the whole shape rounded out to become a massive horn. Cheeks puffed, she blew hard, and the sound seemed to shake the entire canyon. Peridot screamed, glancing around frantically while her shots went wide.

As quickly as it came, Spinel let the shape go, body returning to normal, and bound up, bouncing off the walls, preparing to slam the green gem back to Earth. Pearl said the best way to disable a gem was to put something sharp through it, but she still didn’t have a weapon, and while the next best thing might’ve been one of those injector legs, there was hardly enough time for her to rip one free. So instead, she came up a different plan.

Her right fist swung wide, in a long, predictable arc that would give Peridot plenty of time to react. Reasonably, those shocking digits raised again, prepared to meet it, but Spinel's fist stopped before making contact, leaving her unprepared for the left hand coming in from the other side, a massive open palm that slammed her into the far cliff-face.

Peridot flew fast, undignified scream cut short by the impact which cracked the rock. Spinel stretched her arm again, already sinking to the Earth, and wrapped enlarged fingers around the gem's midsection. Using gravity to her advantage, she sling-shot Peridot straight into the dirt, spiking hard enough that she was sure even Pearl would've had a hard time getting back up. There was a 'thwump', but when the dust cleared, Peridot was already back on her feet, more dirty than damaged.

“Haha_ha_!” The tall engineer pointed to laugh, starting to hover away again. “Like a Spinel could _ever_ damage a Peridot like me!”

She sighed. By the time Spinel had landed, about a dozen other ways she might outsmart her opponent had come to mind. And, judging by the absurdly grating laughter leaking through the air, she’d need every single one of them.

“This is… gonna take a while, ain't it?”

* * *

“Sorry, what did you say?” **Connie** asked, trailing behind Amethyst. Her eyes moved across the canyon walls, shooting forward only long enough to make sure she wouldn’t stumble over anything.

“I said Steven taught it better.” Amethyst said idly. The gem’s expression was sort of passive when she glanced back, but it was better than the awkward mix between apologetic and anxious it had been before. Her shoulders were slouched, but only a little, and even if it didn’t seem like it outwardly, Connie had confidence she was paying just as much attention to the Kindergarten as she was.

“How do you change go fish...?” Connie intoned.

“He called it, ‘go wish’.”

Connie opened her mouth to respond when a horrendously loud sound passed through without warning. Her ears rang as it bled past, dulling only several seconds later. Connie groaned, while Amethyst looked at the four-way split ahead, mouth parted, finger hovering, trying to determine which direction it came from.

“Come on, this way!” She gestured with an arm, shouting, and led along at a dead sprint. Connie wondered what Spinel had meant by ‘if I find anything, you’ll know,’ and the answer more than lived up to her expectations. 

“R-Right!” 

The distance wasn’t terribly far, not more than a mile, but at that speed, Connie still needed a moment to catch her breath before she was ready to engage. Momentarily dumbfounded, both of them stared up to see a giant pink boot mid-air, descending to deliver an overhead axe kick to a flying Peridot, who hit the ground in a puff where at least half a dozen other imprints had been made, surrounded by nearly twice as many juggling balls. Amethyst pulled a studded whip from her gem, while Connie drew the sword from its make-shift sheath on her belt. The blood in her ears was pounding as she prepared to charge ahead, when Spinel shouted, sinking through the air in their direction.

“Waaait!!” As Spinel drew nearer, Connie could see she looked beat. There were marks all along her extended arms, and while the pink gem slid to a halt, Peridot was already up, scuffed and dirty, screaming in annoyance.

“WILL YOU GIVE IT UP ALREADY!?”

Connie cringed at the volume, but Spinel only huffed. “Listen. You can’t keep contact with her for long, she’s got these weird… weird _shocky_ things, and no matter how hard I hit her, she just keeps getting _back up_…!” The pink gem’s expression was frayed, and she looked to be at her limit. The gears in Connie’s head were already turning.

“What about if you both wrapped her up?” She suggested. “Could she shock both of you at once?”

Spinel’s fingers dug rows through her hair, ponytail tugged hard. “Ugh, probably, but, maybe it’d be good for a distraction, and--” Her face lit up. “And _you’ve got a sword!_” Connie yelped when the pink gem picked her up without warning, grip tight. Peridot was already high in the air, taunting laughter getting steadily farther away. Spinel’s head whipped back, grimacing. “No time. Amethyst, wrap her up! Connie, you’re comin’ with me!”

“Y-Yes ma’am!” Connie defaulted, and remembered earlier. “Uh, sorry, I’m--”

But Spinel didn’t seem to notice. Amethyst ran the opposite direction, and Connie began to wonder what she was doing before she witnessed the purple gem turn into a spinning ball of burning energy, scorching a path up and along the hole-laiden canyon wall, before coming out and kicking off, whip lassoing around Peridot and tugging her downwards. Together, they hung just above the canyon wall. Spinel was bounding along as well, and Connie felt her position dip as Spinel’s legs turned to springs. Her stomach lurched when they launched upwards, flying at a steep angle towards the wall. Spinel exerted herself, coiled legs meeting the wall, and together they began to sail through open air, trajectory barely high enough to meet Peridot’s ascension.

“Get her legs!” Spinel shouted, arms extending to hold her higher.

The wind whipped against her face, pulling tears free. Her heart beat hard, threatening to break loose, but through the nerves, through the fear of failure as it all hinged on her, Connie only had to think once of the steel and fire that burned within while she studied under Pearl. Of Steven’s shield and smile helping her up, and the Earth heroes believed in that Peridot wanted to hurt. Her lungs burned, taking in the air, but she shouted anyways, hand wrapped around the hilt of the cutlass, and swung through as they passed.

At this speed, she’d expected moving the sword through Peridot’s form would feel like a hot knife through butter, but instead there was resistance. A snag tugged her arm back awkwardly for a moment, but she was thankful when the blade managed to work its way through anyways. Already several dozen feet away and falling, Connie looked back to see Peridot shrieking in horror as her ‘boots’ fell away, a pair of much smaller feet revealed somewhere past the ankles she’d cut through. The metal sank to the Earth, her digits connected to the whip, and electricity coursed through, forcing Amethyst to drop it and fall. Somehow, despite the growing distance, Peridot became even louder.

“YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS YOU CRYSTAL _CLODS_! JUST YOU WAIT! I’LL BE LONG GONE BY THE TIME YOU IDIOTS FIGURE OUT WHAT’S HAPPENING!”

“She didn’t poof?” Connie managed, bewildered.

“She didn’t WHAT!?” They slowed as Spinel adjusted against the cliff-face, bringing Connie close to her chest. The pink gem’s form sort of splattered against the wall, lower half a single tense coil that _‘splapped’_ and held shape until all the kinetic energy was gone. Spinel could’ve dropped straight down and been fine, but Connie was grateful when she went out of her way to use the vaguely humanoid holes as stepping stones.

“Come on!” Amethyst shouted, eyes still in the sky. “Toss me up! We can still chase her down!”

Spinel looked crushed. Connie wiggled free from her now-loose grip. “I-I can’t throw _anything_ that high, and, and she’s already so far away…” The gem deflated, extended limbs falling in a messy heap.

Amethyst sighed, and prepared to run after Peridot anyways, but seemed to think better of it. The whip faded in purple light, and the hand that held it came to rest on Spinel’s shoulder. Neither of them shirked away, but it was clear the touch wasn’t helping.

“Ugh, _stupid_.” Spinel groaned after a brief silence, eyes narrowed at the ground. “I tried to fight her myself first, I should’ve blown that horn earlier!”

Amethyst looked to Connie, seeming out of her depth. Connie’s shoulders tensed, and she prepared to do her best.

“Well, you’ll know better next time, right?” It wasn’t her style to say mistakes didn’t matter, but there was always room for improvement. Spinel was an entertainer, she’d get that, right?

“Yeah,” Amethyst followed. “I mean, I make mistakes all the time!” She cringed. “I mean, you did your best, right?”

“No!” Spinel refused, reeling in her limbs. “I messed it up, and she got away, and now we’ve got nothin’ to show for it except--” She looked at the undented metal boots not too far away. “Except for some lousy boots!”

“You don’t think that’s worth something?” Connie asked. “That she didn’t poof tells us something, right? I didn’t even know Gems _used_ equipment like that.”

“We don’t.” Amethyst said. “At least, not that Pearl’s ever mentioned.”

_Wait, she actually listens to Pearl?_ Connie shook her head. _Time and a place, Mahaswaren._ “Right, and Pearl’s smart, so I’m sure she can come up with some way to use these, right?”

“... Maybe.” Spinel said quietly. Connie continued to press.

“And, you were with her for a while, so maybe she let something slip while she was angry?” A beat passed. “I mean, she already gave away that there’s something for us to figure out, right?” At that point, she let her arms go wide, gesturing to both of them with a positive smile. “So there’s a mystery for us to solve!”

A smile slipped across Amethyst’s face, and a not-frown slipped reluctantly across Spinel’s. Connie came closer, and offered a hand to the pink gem.

She ran a hand along the back of her neck, and accepted the offer, coming to a stand. “Alright, yeah. I guess, she did say a few things.” Her arms bent at strange angles, crossing over one another as one sat on her shoulder, the other tapping her chin as she thought. “Lessee… There was, somethin’ about fusion experiments, somethin’ called ‘the cluster’, and… she wants to get off planet. But, uh, duh.” A beat passed. “Oh! And, she doesn’t know the deal with Jasper, which is probably good if she’s spending time looking for her too? Since, you know, that’s not gonna happen.”

“Right…” Connie took it all in. _What would a Gem call a ‘cluster’?_ “Is… the Cluster a fusion thing too, or was that separate?”

“Dunno…” Spinel assumed a more natural stance, one boots tip-toes tapping the ground. “She did say ‘emerge’, though.”

“Where’d you find her?” Amethyst asked.

“Oh, right! She came up on some kinda elevator.” Spinel, excited one moment, seemed to sort of shrink in on herself. “Jeez, was I really gonna… manage to think none of that stuff was important?” 

Her expression continued to degrade, so Connie spoke quickly. “Well, that’s what we’re here for!” It didn’t help. “T-To work as a team, you know?”

Spinel looked away, and managed to force a weak smile. “Right… Teamwork.”

A stiff silence passed, before Amethyst spoke again, looking around. “Yeah, about that. I don’t think the others are even _here_.”

“Wh-what?” Spinel sputtered.

“I mean, I dunno.” Amethyst seemed less sure suddenly. “But, if they were, they would’ve come running after that horn, right? I know this place pretty well, too, and I don’t think anything’s even been touched. The injectors aren’t on, obviously, but none of them are gone, either, and unless one of you saw Garnet, Pearl, or Steven, I don’t think they’re here.”

“No, I haven’t.” Connie put a hand to her mouth, elbow cupped. Spinel was staying quiet, so she focused on the best way to cheer her up. “Then… why don’t we see what we can find while we’re here? Why don’t we go down that elevator ourselves? If we do the mission first, then they won’t have to waste any time, right?”

“Y-Yeah!” Spinel said, enthusiastic. “Yeah, let’s do somethin’ right for a change!”

Amethyst stifled a cringe, but Spinel didn’t notice. Connie did her best not to worry about it, and spoke anyways. “Then, lead the way!”

* * *

The loose fog, stagnant in the air, seemed to get a little thicker as Spinel led them back to where Peridot had emerged. A diamond-shaped hole in the dirt revealed itself, smooth and perfectly cut, carrying all the way down to a bottom she couldn't see from this height. Connie’s grip around her sword got a little tighter.

“Oh, it’s this place.” Amethyst said quietly.

“You’ve been here before?” Connie asked.

“Yeah but… it’s been a while.” The thought that this place would be familiar to at least one of them brought some comfort.

Spinel, wordlessly, hopped down, sliding on her feet until she was barely visible, and then not at all. Amethyst shot her an indecipherable look and a shrug, and followed suit. Connie, alone, looked down, and swallowed her nerves.

The descent was long and slow, as she worked carefully to avoid tumbling or being caught. Her eyes moved from side to side, tubes of various, discordant greens criss-crossing over one another. These things, that she couldn’t help seeing as veins, glowed faintly, some of the only light in this dim cavern, and dug into the walls, spreading to who knew where. When she arrived at the bottom, Spinel was already ambling around, eyes on the same thing Connie caught.

Ahead was a hexagonal hole where an innumerous amount of those tubes fed back, disappearing into the sloped metal walls. At the far end was an open space where most of them seemed to end, connected to a large cracked gem shape which glowed only barely brighter than its surroundings. Hanging from the ceiling were about a dozen cylinders of tightly packed soil, some cracked, but most in perfect condition, a few similar ones already upright on the floor nearby. The only light in the area came from those tubes and the crystal at the back, some spots bare, but she was happy to still be able to make out Amethyst’s face. The purple gem cast a reassuring look back, and hummed. Connie stayed close.

“This is definitely… different.” Amethyst muttered. “Why’d she pull a bunch of dirt out of the walls?”

“Are these things… the experiments?” Connie asked slowly. “What would a fusion experiment look like?”

Spinel’s eyes were on the small gaps ringing around the dirt above, only one or two inches apart, but impossibly dark. “I don’t think I like this place very much.”

They all whipped their heads as a muffled, discordant noise too removed to be called a voice sounded from one of the cylinders on the ground next to them. The glow of Amethyst’s gem was momentarily blinding in contrast as she pulled out a whip.

“It’s fine, it’s just... Dirt.” She said, approaching it cautiously. Connie backed away to Spinel. If anyone was going to be surprised, it was better a Gem than her.

A small, almost meaty plopping noise sounded behind them. Connie and Spinel turned, to see what looked like a hand connected at the ankle to a foot, blue and red respectively. It writhed, before jumping through the air, and Connie jerked in response, sword parting the shape effortlessly. Spinel’s hand reached down to catch what appeared from the puff of smoke, and held to the light two gem shards, fused together at the base, colors bleeding over to one another.

Connie’s eyes narrowed, mouth dropping, as did Spinel’s. “Is that--” The question was cut short, as more shapes worked their way through the holes above, falling into the light as mis-matched legs and arms and hands and feet, colors breaking apart haphazardly where the limbs met, moving desperately across the floor. 

“Are these all… fusions!?” Connie half-shouted, when something exploded behind them.

* * *

**Spinel** had never felt more vulnerable in her entire life. The gem-shard creatures began to move towards them, but she couldn’t take her eyes off the light that exploded out from the cylinder Amethyst was about to investigate.

It grew, at first in a column, until the white light, tinted by a gradient of four distinct hues, spread to become an amorphous mass. From its center stretched four hands, each one a different color. It spread and slipped, stretching against itself but always bound by thin threads. Four distinct silhouettes, unable to separate, screamed, and for a moment the entire form lost itself, scattering in awkward, blocky chunks, until it withdrew and consolidated, spreading again not as a humanoid, but a monstrous _thing_. Colors as one, it bulged and widened, becoming something like an ugly fist. The light faded and the shape collapsed to the ground, a long, wide strip of fabric wrapped around itself in a cruel facsimile of clothes that only served to cover portions of its blending stripes. The fingers ended in their own differently colored hands, legs dangling out the back like some kind of twisted tail.__

_ __ _

_ __ _

The thing without a mouth screamed again, and began to move closer.

Spinel took one look at Connie’s terrified expression, and understood her role immediately. Amethyst leaped back, whip cracking across the surface of the thing three times their size, and it only hissed. Spinel stepped behind Connie, facing the other, smaller fusion experiments, and set to work stretching across the distance, popping them easily to clear the area.

“Connie!” She shouted. The dark haired girl snapped to.

“Yes ma’am?”

“I told you-- Ah, not the time. Stay back, and take care of any more of those little things that fall down, alright? Me and Amethyst will handle the big one.”

“Okay.” She said, blinking as a few more fell farther back, somehow incensed by the violence. “Okay. Okay.” Connie repeated, and set to work.

Amethyst was already on the back of the big one, whip wrapped around it several times, and grunted as she pulled, hoping to pop its form. But the fusion wouldn’t go down that easily, and pushed off the ground, rolling over. Amethyst barely managed to leap away in time, regrouping nearby, while Spinel stared at the dent in the floor where her gem would’ve been.

“Come on, we’ve gotta create an opening for Connie again!” Amethyst led.

“What!?” Spinel shouted. “Are you kidding me? We’re not putting Connie anywhere _near_ that thing!”

“Fine, then take her sword and use it yourself!”

“No!” Spinel gestured back to Connie, who was staring wide-eyed at the holes above for more intruders. “She needs something familiar to protect herself with!”

The fusion jerked, hand-fingers snapping as they bent over to rise again. The open strip of flesh where all its colors met subtly morphed, one eye appearing on the flat palm in each cardinal direction. Its pupils shrank as it ambled forward, and then slapped its tail-end against the ground to leap at Amethyst, who slid under.

“Then what’s your plan?” She cried, whip cracking to get the things attention again. “It’s me and you, what are we doing?”

“I… don’t know.”

The monster didn’t turn. Amethyst’s whip would never be enough to disrupt this thing’s form, and it knew that. But ahead was something else. Something small, that wasn’t paying any attention at all...

“Connie!” Spinel yelped, and the young girl turned from the yellow-blue leg-arm in front of her. The aimless shards took their chance and slapped forward, knocking the unsettled girl off her feet, sword clattering not too far away. The big fusion hobbled closer.

“Oh no _you don’t_!” Amethyst’s whip sailed through the air and wrapped around several joints. The purple gem tried to dig her feet in, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. Half the fusion’s eyes closed, and it was only slowed. “Spinel, you’ve got to DO SOMETHING!!”

Her feet were rooted, impossibly, to the spot. The core of her gem was shaking, like it wouldn’t listen. Everything was slipping away, like sand through her fingers, like life in the Garden, like her chance to be someone and mean something to someone, anyone. Connie reached for the sword, but another foot-hand covered its handle, and she jerked back. Spinel sent one thought through her body, furiously willing it to move.

_Do something, do something, do something, do something, DO SOMETHING--_

Connie was on the ground, Amethyst was struggling, the monster was getting closer, and her heart sank. _It’s over. What can I do? I’ve never been good enough! Not before, and not now. I… I… _

“Spinel!” Connie’s voice cut through it all, nervous eyes staring right at her.

_No… No, it’s not over!_ Sitting right there, helpless through panic, was someone who needed her. Even if she wasn’t good enough, even if she’d never sort through these emotions- all the shame and the rage- there was still something she _could_ do! Her feet lifted, and those roots snapped again. In wide strides, the distance closed, and everything slowed down. The gem at her center began to glow, bright pink penetrating the dark as she lifted a hand to pull something free that had never been there before.

Out came something _glowing_. A long, burgundy bar, about as tall as her normal form and a little thicker than her arms, came loose, either side ending in a large, solid, hot-pink sphere about twice the size of her head that was much, much heavier than her juggling balls. The glow faded, time resumed its normal pace, and she aligned herself with the monster. The weapon came down with a thud that dented the metal, and Spinel applied some leverage, making it perpendicular to the ground. She placed one hand at the top as she flipped over it, stretching to keep the other close to the end of the bar. Once airborne, she tensed her body, and _pulled_.

The weapon whipped through the air in a swift and dangerous arc, entire weight crashing down against the thing's back, placed evenly to keep it immobile, but the creature only buckled, staggering. Seeing the impact wasn’t enough, Spinel pushed her body forward again with the last of its momentum, and stamped against the bar, sending the creature's limbs flying out from under it as it crashed flat.

“Connie, sword!” She cried, more than surprised that it hadn’t poofed after that.

It took the young girl only a few moments to regain herself, but suddenly the fear was gone. She picked up the hand-foot by its ankle joint and tossed it away, fingers slipping around the hilt and charging forward. Connie leapt high and stabbed downwards, blade sinking through and poofing the experiment. Its four-gem shard fell to the ground with a clatter as she caught herself on one knee, and Spinel was sure to pull on her weapon to keep it from landing on and possibly shattering any of the weaker shard-fusions around.

Both of them were breathing hard, but after a few seconds, the tension bled away. Amethyst cheered, and started gathering the remains in bubbles, trying to lift the mood. “Hey, nice work you two!”

“... Thanks.” Connie managed. “But I could have done better. I’m sorry I panicked you two.”

Spinel kneeled, placing a hand on her shoulder, weapon slung over the other. “Hey, it’s alright. What matters is that you’re safe and sound. I’m glad I could make sure you were.”

“Well, you didn’t do so bad yourself… ma’am.”

Spinel blew a raspberry right in front of her, to refute any ‘ma’amness’ she might’ve had, and Connie giggled. Then she stood, and looked over the few remaining forms with a much more serious expression. “Alright. Let’s put these poor souls outta their misery.”

Amethyst bubbled the rest while she and Connie worked. All the while, she couldn’t help catching glances between the two of them. There was a lot left unsaid, but she had to wonder how much of it was worth saying. The others seemed to hate Pink Diamond, and maybe she was supposed to, too, and maybe she did at least a little, but, it was hard not to feel like a failure first. Maybe it had something to do with the way she was made, or, maybe it really was her fault, or maybe it had nothing to do with either of those things. But no matter what, after a day this long, and everything that would be coming next, it was probably best to keep it all to herself. If she could get away with keeping it together in front of everyone else and having her feelings somewhere else, then it would be a win for everyone, right?

“Gems!” A new voice called from the entrance.

“Garnet?” Amethyst turned, holding onto a bubble with a few different shard fusions.

Steven, Garnet, and Pearl, the second holding the first, came sliding down the long dirt slope, launching across the distance and coming down.

“Is everyone safe?” Pearl rushed out. “Connie! Oh thank stars, you’re not injured, are you?” A beat passed. “And, is that my cutlass?”

“Connie!” Steven shouted, dropping from Garnet’s hold and sprinting into a hug. Connie tossed the sword to the side and took it. “I was so worried! But, I guess I should’ve known better.”

“Well, mostly I’m safe because of Spinel and Amethyst.” She admitted, looking to Pearl. Spinel wasn’t so sure that was fair to herself, but let it go. “I did my best, but, I need more training.”

The three of them conversed with each other while Amethyst and Spinel turned to Garnet, who had her arms crossed. There was a speech on the fusion’s lips, when her head tilted towards the bubble hovering over Amethyst’s hand.

“Those are… gem shards.” She managed, shaken. “They’re…”

“Fused.” Spinel finished on her behalf.

“Yeah...” Amethyst offered, sympathetic. “We’ve got a _lot_ to talk about.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy moly, I had a lot of fun with this one. I don't get to stretch my horror muscles much, and if you're half as exhausted as Spinel is by the end of this chapter, then I did my job by making this chapter so long and varied.
> 
> Big thanks to Catflower Queen for the idea of a dumbbell for Spinel. Originally, I was just going to use a big ole magic baton that had a few extra functions, and the context for her getting the weapon was going to be completely different, but when I was conceptualizing how I'd use a dumbbell-like weapon, I just _loved_ the sense of weight it would add to her moveset and all the acrobatic, tricky maneuvers I imagined in conjunction with it. It's also less gimmicky, which I think makes it a stronger choice. I always wanted it to be a bludgeoning weapon either way, and something she could move around to block better with, but this weapon is something she can take unique advantage of with her springy physique and pin people with as well, which I like a lot.
> 
> Anyways, thank you all for reading, as ever! <3
> 
> Next time, the gang catches up, and then some.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shucks, didn't mean to make this take a whole month, but I think you guys will enjoy the results: A nearly 14k update... This chapter's a little dark, but I promise you'll like what's at the end of this long, long episode <3
> 
> Lots of notes at the end of next chapter, just have to format it all...

**Lapis Lazuli** felt herself being pulled in. Extremities, dress, hair, everything. There were no words, no sounds, just a sudden and inescapable sense of self. There was something else, a faraway fear, but it was hard to want to even address it. If she hadn’t been shattered yet, and it would have been more than obvious if she had, then there was no need to return to what it felt like being a cracked gem again so soon.

Here, in this limbo where she was as much herself as she was nothing, the gem would take her time.

Alone once more, Lapis Lazuli would wait.

  


… Several thoughts floated along in the mist.

Ephemeral, and always present. Just as easy to ignore, as they were to hear. She plucked along at one, and felt a need for change somewhere deep within.

It wasn’t a burning feeling, or a piercing one, but it was still there. Passive, desperate, needy. She wondered why. Wondered what that _was_…

“Rebellion...?”

_No_. Not her. Not ever.

Fighting had never been something she wanted a part in, and after the last five thousand years, that certainly hadn’t changed.

The war had taken her as a casualty. Homeworld had taken her for the enemy. The Crystal Gems had taken her prisoner. With a sigh, Lapis supposed not much had changed since taking form again. 

All she’d ever wanted to do was quietly enjoy her work. A chance to find some meaning in the channels she carved. To see if those vacant waters and smooth rocks could ever hold the smiles she wanted to bear.

Sometimes, they _were_ good enough.

Sometimes, there was _pride_. A sense of power, holding so much of a planet’s water in her grasp; because it was _her_ grasp, and no one else’s! Not the Agates who thought they knew better, or the Peridots who stuck to a schedule, or anyone else’s! Just… Hers.

But then, those moments passed. The assignment was over, and who knew how long it would be before the next one?

_… Those smiles never lasted long enough… _

  


_… Maybe… Maybe there is some truth to that ‘rebellion’ thought…_

If she changed her form, it would be a step towards individuality, but more importantly, a step _away_ from the Diamonds’ perfect designs. _A flaw. A mistake. An error._

Could she invite something like that on herself? Would it be worth it, if it might make her happier? Formed by the two triangles of her outfit-- atop her skirt and the bottom of her halter top-- was a diamond. A _blue_ diamond. 

_**My** Diamond._

But… it had no place on her any more. Having been away for so long, things had changed. Homeworld wasn’t familiar any more. It had the same landmarks, and many more, but all of them were so… perfect, and bright. Organic life had never had a place on Homeworld before, but between the technology she couldn’t understand and the way everything seemed so, pristine, and white now, it felt almost… artificial. Lifeless.

It was as if the Bismuths who made those towers were only taking the next step in a process, rather than racing to outdo one another. From the center, it was a never ending cascade of color that washed out, structures sinking further and further into the planet’s core, until disappearing over the horizon altogether. It should have been inspiring, but instead she just couldn’t shake how uneasy it all felt. 

Idly, Lapis traced the pads of her fingers against the pattern, and felt some dull pain from deep within. It was tempting to keep the symbol anyways.

Blue Diamond was wise, and patient. When assignments took longer than predicted, the gems in charge would inevitably come down on their Lapis for it, though few had the courage to do so directly. All the same, it was never _their_ words she had to listen to. Blue Diamond’s direct decree was that things should take as long as necessary for the best outcome. For however brief it might have been, it was thanks to her that she’d ever had the chance to experience that sense of control.

The ghost of a smile passed her lips, fingertips rising to touch it.

And then, both fell away. 

After five thousand years of being a possession, how could she ever let herself belong to someone again?

“It’s time to let go.” The words were soft, and carried a bitter finality with them. Her fingers became weak fists, undone almost as soon as they’d been made. And then, the diamond disappeared.

“It’s not my Homeworld any more anyways…”

  
  


… Another thought drifted nearby. Lapis listened, and felt fingers tracing along the hem of her skirt once more. Suddenly, that sense of self came around in full, and it felt so… _lacking_.

“Is it the way I look…?”

She thought on that, and a moment later began with the colors. They could afford to be a few shades darker by now. Not muted, per-say, but more… her?

_Harder to spot? Less bright? Less… easy on the eyes?_

It was a strange thought-- not complete at all-- but it still felt right, and for now that was all that mattered. Lapis’ skin turned from cyan to turquoise, her hair from royal blue to cobalt blue, and the now flatly colored top and skirt made a similar change. Then, when the process was complete, she looked herself over again, only to find the nagging feeling had become stronger.

Should there be a symbol on her after all? Or, at least, something to break up the monotony? It wasn’t necessary, but maybe that was the cause of this strange feeling. Buried somewhere inside her gem were flecks of gold. 

_But… where would I put them?_

_As freckles on my face? On my shoulders? As a sash somewhere? The ribbon on my back? As… a highlight in my hair?_

Lapis looked over the possibilities, frowned, and shook her head. _Maybe… **none** of those._

Each one felt wrong, like a step too far. _Too_ Off Color.

_I’ll come back to it… _

  


… In almost every way, the Earth was nothing like Homeworld. Here, nature was let loose, and wild as it was, it took over everything. Homeworld, meanwhile, was nothing but smooth surfaces and tiled floors. No sharp rocks, no bugs, and certainly nothing to worry about stepping in. It would have been nice to keep her feet clear entirely, but given how uncertain it was when she’d be able to fly again, adding some kind of padding would be a smart, if regrettable, adjustment to make.

_Boots? Heels? Ugh, no… Oh!_

At once, Steven’s own strange footwear came to mind. The little things were hardly even sandals, and would be easy to dismiss if she really wanted to.

_Oh, and that’s where I’ll put the gold, too!_

It was funny, in the way that things no one ever laughed at were. A stupid, silly little metaphor in its own right. These not-sandals would be the place where her greatest change met the Earth. The miserable blue ball seemed to do nothing _but_ force change in gems, it felt like.

_Or… maybe that’s not it… _

Mostly, she supposed all of _her_ changes had been brought on by other gems. A visit so short to a planet so meaningless wasn’t enough to force change in anyone. It wasn’t the place, but the events that had changed everyone. And for her, that meant it was the _time_.

So much had been lost, and none of it was coming back. Between the still-growing list of jail-keepers she’d traded hands with, staying Malachite for so long, and everything else, it was hard to tell how much of the gem she’d been was left.

It wasn’t something she liked to think about very much, but here, there was time. It was safe, and those sort of thoughts could go uninterrupted. While most of the answers were unsettling, it was even _more_ terrifying to think she’d never really _been_ anyone before. Among other things, the crack in her gem had made it hard to think too far back, but as the faces of a few dozen gems, even older members of Blue’s court than her blew past, it was upsetting to find that not a single one had sparked anything. They’d never made her happy then, so they didn’t matter now.

When she looked within, the reflection that met her was unnerving. It was ready to hurt without thought. Ready to be happy, but at the cost of forgetting everything else. Was that even ‘happy’? Was it enough, if it came from just herself, or did she need other gems to be happy the right way? She’d done it once, so… why was it so hard?

Separated from Jasper now, it was easy to see that Malachite had only been half the reason she never chased these thoughts. They went no-where, circling over and over, until it came back to being her fault, somehow. None of the things that had been done to her were her fault, but somehow, it was hard not to feel that way sometimes. Sometimes, it was hard not to feel like happiness was a thing made for other gems. Gems who took what they wanted without consequence, like rebels or ambitious commanders. Gems who didn’t need more than what they were made for, like Jasper, or all of the Sapphires she’d met.

She’d done everything she could to be happy on her own, but… But somehow it just wasn’t good enough.

Doubt plagued her every facet, left numb again, until she remembered something else. Some_one_ else.

No matter what she was, or who she’d become, Steven seemed to think it would be better if that gem were ‘free’.

_… Me. ‘Free’.... _

That word had played at the edge of her thoughts for as long as she could remember, but each time she _really_ thought about it, it had meant something different. While carving planets, it was power. While she stared at the stars, as a mirror and a cracked gem both, it was agency. And while she’d denied herself everything as a part of Malachite, it had been happiness. But… maybe those weren’t the same things.

After all, Steven didn’t seem to think it was complicated at all.

The little gem hadn’t given any instructions; no demands, no negotiation, ‘free’ was just… something he thought she could already be. It made _her_ want to believe it too, as dumb as it made her feel.

All those letters, all the ways he’d addressed her; with concern, with care, with a genuine desire to connect to someone that he hardly knew, and maybe shouldn’t at all. Before, it had seemed so _obvious_ that the only way anyone could ever care about her, _really_ care about her, was if they didn’t know better. But then, standing up to Jasper, Steven’s thoughts hadn’t changed. He’d been there for her, and even if he hadn’t really understood why that might be bad until recently, it only made the way he felt more… _Impressive? Naive? Hopeless?_

_… Real…?_

A small laugh worked its way from the back of her throat. It was hard not to laugh, thinking about all the stupid jokes they’d shared. Compared to the thousands of years of nothing before-hand, it was hysterical. _'Your Beach Summer Fun Buddy'_, some of the letters even read. There was something about the little gem. Something so sincere, so uncomplicated, it was hard not to be pulled in, even from her darkest thoughts.

The memories sailed by, comforting, until a familiar sense of pain and longing returned.

It was… Impossible, to know if she’d ever have the chance to meet him again. But, even if they never did, she could only hope he knew how much his words had meant to her.

_“You’re you! No one can take that away from you, no matter how strong they are! You’re free! All you have to do is want it for yourself!”_

“I’m… free.” The words resonated, and her sense of self was almost complete.

Could it be that simple? Was that all it took? _Wanting it?_

Hadn’t she wanted it plenty? Hadn’t it burned a hole through her mind, until she was finally free, only to be swept up in something again? There was still so much hate in her, ready to burst out at any moment. For Jasper, for the Crystal Gems, for the things they’d done and said and been together. Everything was so different now, but even still... 

“I’m free.”

And that was all it took. It was true, because she said it was.

The form she’d chosen was fine. When Steven came, and he would, the little gem would have something sweet to say about her not-sandals, and even if she hated the Crystal Gems, it would be fine, because he was nothing like them.

Lapis’ form began to glow, and as her light spread, taking shape, it was still a surprise that she even could at all.

* * *

**Jasper** had finished setting up nearly every contingency necessary to enact her plan. Several already emptied injectors had been broken down and peeled apart by her own hand, long stripes of sharpened metal on stand-by near a few dozen misshapen holes ready for containment. It had only been the better part of a minor cycle since she’d claimed her freedom once more, but it could have been a thousand and it still would have been too soon to be standing here again.

When she’d first arrived at the Beta Kindergarten, yellow star high in the sky, the wavy, malformed stone seemed to stretch in greeting, and strange feelings made themselves known; Impenetrable, but heavy enough to force herself to a stop, eyes staring, cast back to the day she’d first formed. But gawking was beneath the Perfect Quartz, so she grit her teeth and slammed fist to stone, then kept moving.

What should have been a simple maintenance escort, something completely undeserving of her talent and skill, had become something clandestine. The Earth had pulled her back into its clutches, a prison that refused to let go, but she’d been stronger than it before, and she’d be stronger than it as many times as it took to be truly free. Isolated, with no resources to call her own, Jasper had been presented with the truly unique opportunity to claim complete, uncontested victory over the gems that had taken everything from her.

Yet, while she walked, her teeth ground together.

This victory would be shallow.

Defeating _these_ Crystal Gems would feel like little more than taking a fistful of ash from the cinders of a once legendary blaze. Whatever had happened to Rose, it was clear that she’d become soft, physically, if not mentally. Still, it would have to do. Even if she _had_ been able to match wit and might with the Rose of her prime, it wouldn’t have been enough. _This_ was only the beginning.

From the moment she’d broken free of the Earth’s crust, fighting was all she’d ever done, and it was all she’d ever _do_, until the debt between her origins and the Diamond Authority had been squared; until she’d conquered and dismantled enough planets to equal the measure of a Diamond; Until the needless end she felt to do better, be stronger, more capable, so that something like this could never happen again, was sated.

Rearing back, Jasper let out the war-cry that had been building since her arrival on this miserable planet. The Earth would never defeat her, and she would watch in glee as it became hollow, used to create a fraction of the gems it had taken during the war. Her allies would be avenged, and Pink Diamond’s first and final colony would at last be allowed to achieve its purpose. _That_ was the promise she bellowed to the cloudless, starry sky. _That_ was the promise she bellowed to Homeworld, now so far away.

And _that_ was the promise she made to Pink Diamond, to whom she owed everything.

But first, there was one last thing to check.

* * *

Jasper prowled along the jutting bands of stone before arriving at what amounted to the base of operations. Several emergence holes had been carved into minor caves here, too, but only one had been barred by metal, thoroughly closing off any escape for its prisoner. Behind the cross-hatch of sharpened horizontal and vertical bars, leaned against the cave’s mouth, was the mirror-eyed, unstable Lapis Lazuli that had attempted to keep _her_ Prisoner in turn. Idly, Jasper supposed this was just another in a long series of cycles for the blue gem.

Now that she understood why the Diamonds had forbidden cross-gem fusion, however, it would also be the last.

“This is the Beta site.” Lapis said pointedly. To what ends, she couldn’t be sure.

The orange gem didn’t respond, only narrowed her eyes. Through the improvised gate’s openings, it was clear that Lapis had changed. Though still blue, her appearance was off-color, and the diamond insignia of her uniform had vanished. Even putting aside the egregious display of another color entirely in her footwear, it was an irreverent show of disloyalty.

“A traitor to the end, then.” Jasper spat.

Lapis folded her arms, looking down. “They were never worth following. I only wish I could have figured it out sooner.”

“The Diamonds are perfect!” Jasper punctuated the sentence with a slam against the bars of Lapis’ prison, but the blue gem didn’t flinch. “Something you’ll be forced to remember once I present you to them.”

“Then how’d we lose one?” Lapis shot, moving closer, and Jasper’s expression contorted in rage. “How’d they manage to confuse me with the enemy?” The smaller gem was obviously leading her along, but it was impossible not to bite back.

“Those were the mistakes of the gems beneath them, and the work of traitors.” She answered immediately.

“Oh, but we _are_ better than them, aren’t we?” Lapis’ head poked through the bars, lips splitting into a wicked grin. “Aren’t you sick of the way Yellow Diamond keeps misusing your potential? Didn’t _you_ ignore the prime directive of your mission the second you saw ‘Rose’? Didn’t _you_ ask to fuse with _me_, something expressly forbidden? They’re perfect, but you know better than them? How impressive.”

Jasper could feel her chest heaving before she braced her mind. “I wasn’t deceived by Rose’s words, and I won’t be antagonized by yours.” She reared back and butt her head against the smaller gem’s, but Lapis clung to the bars, slicing into her fingers just to stay standing. “You’re a prisoner, Lazuli. Don’t forget it.”

And Lapis _cackled_. Her face tilted forward again, a dark spot on her forehead, and Jasper found herself staring into wide mirrors that only reflected her own, well-set, off-put grimace. The blue gem’s words became almost sweet, despite the venom in them. “Oh, Jasper, you couldn’t be more wrong.” Her head poked out again, taunting, _daring_ Jasper to hurt her the same way again. It was that will of steel, despite everything, that she still had some twisted sense of admiration for. “I’m _free_ now.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Jasper shot back, and took a few strides the prisoner couldn’t. As it was, she’d left enough room for Lapis to stand, but hardly enough to stretch. “I’ve wasted enough time on you, though. Try not to break yourself while I’m gone. I’d hate to deny the Diamonds their satisfaction.”

When she turned, there was a thudding noise that forced her to turn back. Even though it must have hurt, Lapis leaned into the bars, sinking a little, just to gain a few more inches of presence. Her fist slammed against the bars as well, manic. “Even if you tore through this little gate of yours and broke me into a _thousand_, tiny, mindless pieces, I’d _still_ be enjoying a kind of peace you never could.” She shook her head. “Go ahead, fill every hole here, but there’s one you _never_ will. _You’re_ the only prisoner here, Jasper. Just not to the things you think you are…”

Using others insecurities as a weapon was a talent Jasper had honed through time, finding it occasionally just as effective as a well-placed fist. All she’d ever done was prey on weaknesses, but Lapis was a monster in her own right. While fused, both of them had spent time buried beneath each others’ turmoils, but her partner had never hesitated to bring those depths deeper. It was so strangely enticing, coming up against the monster that five thousand years of bitter thoughts and no agency had made. Like sparring against a titan, something only _she_ could take, and only Lapis could ever hope to surmount. A fight either of them could lose, but not without taking something away from the other.

The Perfect Quartz needed a partner to remind herself that she could still improve, and past those initial spats, it had been that bond that kept them together. Through Lapis’ body language, it was clear to see that she was thinking something similar, if obviously more self-involved.

“You’re cracked.” Jasper dismissed, lingering uncharacteristically.

“Maybe.” Lapis answered. “But not shattered.”

They shared a silence, like they’d shared so many things. But before too long, Lapis’ expression began to wilt. Her eyelids suddenly seemed heavy with something, and she inched back, standing behind the bars.

“Why am I…?” Two fingers tapped against the bruise on her forehead, then all of them ran through her hair. The blue gem turned, and fell to her knees, shuddering.

Jasper had to remind herself there were things that needed doing. The large quartz stared at the empty canyon, ignored the uncertain feeling in her chest, and a moment later pulled free the last tool she’d need from a nearby control panel.

With Rose, and even Lapis, she’d always been honest. It was a credo of hers that lies never be employed, but misdirection was fine in its own right. Weaker gems were so often eager to fill in the blanks with their worst fears, and it had only seemed right to take advantage of that fact. 

After all, how could a gem fight to the fullest of their capabilities, if they weren’t prepared to feint without remorse?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're looking for a good spot to take a break in the middle of this one, '"What!?" **Steven** shouted.' is probably where I'd do it.

**Steven** could feel himself winding down from a tizzy, scraps of worry being shaved away by the sight of everyone together, sitting in a circle, safe and sound. A massive pile of built-up laundry covered the floor between them, slowly being worked into smaller, more manageable piles. 

Until finding Connie, there’d been a nonstop worry-knot in his gut, that around any corner they might find Peridot and Jasper working together again, facing off against a totally unprepared (unintentionally) away team.

But, in the end, there was no need to worry at all.

Everyone was safe, and things (at least here) were going great!

… Sort of.

Well, okay, maybe not really at all. Maybe not a lot was great right now.

Mostly, though, it was just quiet.

After the day had expired, everyone was sort of reserved. It wasn’t silent or anything, and the fireplace did its best to keep the gaps easy, working hard, crackling in the background, but even doing his best to keep the mood light, it was hard to keep it up when _he_ felt a little disappointed, too.

As soon as they’d made it home, Garnet and Pearl took turns giving out apologies, scoldings, and compliments over everyone’s behavior, and while it was obvious to _him_ that the pair were way more happy to be together again than they were actually upset over anything, it didn’t look like that was clear enough to Spinel. If what he was feeling was just disappointment, he had no idea what to call what the pink gem was going through. As it was, she was folding clothes like most of the rest of them, but every motion was almost… mechanical, and weird. It was a sight he had to do his best to smile through anyways, seeing the normally spontaneous gem looking so… _Defeated? Lost? Hurt?_

Whatever it was, Garnet was the only one not folding clothes. Once she’d said her piece, she’d done nothing but stare at one of the many, _many_ purple bubbles Amethyst had added to the Burning Room. The one floating just over her hands, folded over one another, had apparently belonged to a huge, four-shard gem fusion the others had to take down together.

It had been a while since anyone had said anything, so he shot Connie a concerned look, which was returned. On the way back, she’d grabbed his hand and squeezed tight, and where usually that sort of thing would’ve made him feel funny, this time he didn’t say anything, just squeezed back. After a while, both of them managed to relax some. Sitting close to each other now, a lot of the soft stuff they might’ve said had to be passed with a few looks, even if he felt like a lot of it was said just by being next to each other.

Suddenly, Garnet broke the spell.

“So, this is what Homeworld thinks of fusion…” Her voice was somber.

He hadn’t had the chance to make out all the words, but earlier, when Spinel and Amethyst were talking to her in the control room, it must have been the second most upset he’d ever seen Garnet. It made him sort of want to reach out a hand, but he settled for a look. Pearl paused her folding to look across the circle.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Connie.” She added. “Had we been more diligent, none of this would have happened.”

Connie shook her head, sounding proud despite it all. “No ma’am, it was better this way. If we had waited, our team wouldn’t have encountered Peridot.” She shot another glance at Spinel, who hadn’t shifted at all.

“Or, gotten these sick souveniers!” Amethyst piled in, gesturing to the sliced boots on the counter-top. It wasn’t until an hour ago that they’d finally stopped making some sort of weird whirring noise, and been declared safe to touch.

“_Orrrr_ gotten to see Spinel’s awesome weapon!” He pushed.

Spinel shot him a small smile for the trouble. Then went back to what she was doing.

He’d done his best to gush about her back at the control room, too, but mostly he’d gotten too distracted by the way Amethyst and Spinel kept trying to steal glances at each other while the other wasn’t looking. Asking Connie what that was about (discretely, on the way back), had only gotten him “I’ll tell you later, I think it’s complicated,” so he was doing his best not to say anything yet.

“... True.” Pearl dragged the word. “But, it was still inappropriate for you to have seen.”

“It was inappropriate to have been _done_.” Garnet finally tapped the bubble, sending it off to join its friends. She adjusted slightly, then addressed Connie, himself, and Spinel with renewed passion. “Fusion is a choice. It’s a bond between individuals, and a powerful expression of that bond. These gems weren’t _asked_ for permission. No matter what Homeworld might think, what’s been done to them _isn’t_ fusion.”

There was a pregnant pause, Garnet’s mouth still open, but apparently she thought better of it, and started folding clothes herself. Spinel seemed to wilt a little.

“So… what’s next?”

“Next…” Garnet began, probably sorting through futures. “We ought to figure out where Jasper has taken Lapis. Peridot will be scrambling after her close call, but left unchecked, Jasper and Lapis pose a far greater threat to the Earth. And, to each other.”

The unspoken words sent a shiver down his spine.

Pearl looked up again, inflection higher, and spoke in a tone she usually reserved for him. “Connie, it’s getting late. Would you like me to walk you home?”

“Um, no ma’am.” Connie managed, fidgeting. “I. Well, I was going to ask if I could spend the night here, actually. I-I haven’t brought it up with my parents or anything yet, but, I wanted to make sure it would be alright with everyone here, first.”

Pearl spared a glance to Garnet, who then spoke with a small, reassuring smile of her own. “Of course, Connie. You’re always welcome here.”

Pearl nodded. “We’re more than happy to have you around.”

Spinel’s gaze turned to the temple door. Amethyst spoke up. “Oh, can I blow up the mattress this time?”

“Only with _normal_ air.” Pearl answered, hesitantly. “You _do_ remember what happened the last time we tried to utilize some of that hyper-pressurized substance we recovered from the Antarctic, don’t you?”

“Pssh, I wasn’t even gonna use that stuff.” Amethyst rolled her eyes, only to catch a stern look from Garnet. “_And_, I would _never_ do something like that to the little squirt.”

“Hey, I’m not that short!” Connie objected. There were smiles all around, little laughs breaking through the circle. All, except--

Spinel stood. “Uh.” Everyone looked to her. “I, uh.” She rubbed one arm. “I just…” Her eyes were past the door. “Remembered I gotta do something. I’ll, uh. Be right back.” Her hand met the frame on the way out, a couple tired words too quiet to be heard spilling out.

Pearl looked to Amethyst, Garnet took a breath, and Connie gestured for him to follow her to the loft. Behind them Amethyst said a couple words of her own, Pearl’s eyes narrowed, and she headed for the door.

* * *

**Spinel** stood out on the deck by the railing, arms extended and wrapping over one another a few times before leaning her chin against the tangled shape. She let out a breath, and tried to content herself with the view of the ocean, white light rippling across the nearly black blues of its rolling shape. It was a cloudless night, water choppy, and she could easily make out a few of the constellations she’d made up waiting for Pink. Only a few remained, so far away, but that just meant she’d have plenty of time to make up more.

From behind, the sound of the screen door opening caused her to sigh. The dainty sound of Pearl’s footsteps across the wood began, but only sounded once or twice. The air changed, and Spinel felt her fists clench and then unclench, leaning forward just a little harder.

“I’m sorry your first mission was so intense.” Pearl called across the distance. Her tone brooked a question, of whether she could come closer or not.

“It’s fine.” Spinel answered. Pearl took a few more steps, then placed her fingers gently against the pink gem’s shoulders before bringing her hands down all the way. It was a sweet gesture, and if she weren’t so tired, so internally desperate, Spinel might have shrugged it off.

“I wouldn’t have imagined something like this might affect you so much. I promise to be more careful in the future.”

“‘S not your fault.” She mumbled. _Can’t be their fault. They’re too nice._ “Shoulda known better.”

“And how’s that?” Pearl asked, soft, inquisitive.

“I…” Spinel shuddered. “It’s fine.” _Not in front of anyone else. Can’t make it their problem. You’re a friend. Better than this. Not good, but just enough._

There were no words. She couldn’t see Pearl’s face, and wouldn’t turn to check. The breeze, carrying the strong scent of salt and foam, pulled her pony-tail to one side, stray strands brushing against her cheek.

“Are you sure?” Pearl asked, as neutrally as possible.

Spinel swallowed. “Yeah.”

The white gem’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, hands layered over one another not too far from her gem. The tall gem’s head came to a rest atop her own, and suddenly Spinel became aware of every shaky breath, and willed it all to stop. Pearl held her a little tighter, and somehow it became easier, not harder, to keep it all together. It was a touch she’d allow herself to take, though she wasn’t sure she deserved it.

The tide came in. And out. She breathed in. And then out.

“Better?” Pearl asked, just like she had.

Spinel let out a noise like ‘mhm’ through closed lips, barely audible.

“Good.” Pearl soothed.

Spinel wondered how long it would be before the white gem moved on, but as seconds turned to minutes, it became clear she wasn’t going to move until the gem beneath her did. Until the _friend_ beneath her did.

_**My** friend. They’re all my friends, and I love them so, so much, so… why can’t I make it all make sense? Why doesn’t any of this fit together…? They’re so nice, and I just… can’t stop being wrong. I was made for this… wasn’t I?_

She shuddered again, and Pearl began to hum a tune she recognized. _White Light_, the big, somber solo piece from _Our Sky_, a play about the leader of a far-off colony fighting through adversity to do what was right by the Authority. Pink had liked that one, and apparently Pearl did too.

_Only one of them’s here now, though. Only one of them’s holdin’ onto me. Only one of them’s singin’ with me._

“... Thanks.” Spinel mumbled. “Thank you.” She forced herself to repeat, stronger.

“Of course.” Pearl hushed. “I’ll always be here for you.”

She tried to say something in return, but the words wouldn’t come. Her issues weren’t theirs, and that was that.

These people were too nice to have to deal with a problem like her.

* * *

**Connie** looked on to a frowning Steven, covers lifted over both of them for privacy.

“So, that’s pretty much it.” She finished quietly. “I think they both just… don’t wanna get upset with each other.”

“And they’re not gonna say _anything_?” Steven blanched.

“Guess so… until, one of them does.”

Steven sighed and moved to flop back, trying and failing to stop himself when the motion threatened to pull the covers off her. Reflex took over and she was able to keep them in place long enough to fix the situation a moment later. The gems’ behavior made sense to her, even if that didn’t make it better. After all, there were plenty of things she’d never talk to _her_ mom about either. _Not that they’re a mom and daughter kind of thing, I’m pretty sure._

Sitting between them, her phone read 6:08 PM. It had gone untouched so far, but…

“You ready to call your parents?” Steven asked.

She took _her_ turn to sigh. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Connie thumbed through contacts, until reaching ‘Dad ♡’, volume turned up enough so they’d both be able to hear whatever happened. If it was bad, she didn’t want to have to explain it herself. “It’ll probably just be my dad there, so… I dunno, it might work out.”

“Well, we can still talk or text if you _do_ have to go back.” Steven offered. She shot her friend a smile that made him blush for some reason, which made her blush a little too. Them sitting this close wasn’t new, but something about it felt different now that she’d been on a mission without him. _Even if I wasn’t really a huge help… _

She cleared her throat, then her mind, and the line began to ring.

Once. 

Twice. 

Three times.

Then, just when she’d begun to count her lucky stars that it would go to voice mail first, her dad picked up anyways. It took a second to snap back, which was apparently long enough for her to catch a concerned “Connie?”

She shifted the phone to her other ear. “Hey, dad.”

“Is something wrong?” He picked up instantly, because of course he did.

“No. Well, sort of. Some stuff happened.”

“What kind of stuff?” Tone loaded. She kneaded the sheets.

_Ugh, come on, this is ridiculous! I stabbed a monster into non-existence and cut a hyper-advanced alien invader’s legs today, how is **this** the hardest part of my day?_

“There was, um, an accident. It was sort of messy.” Not technically a lie. “I’d like to, spend the night with a friend. If... If I can.” Definitely not a lie.

“Are you alright?” He pitched up.

“Yes!” She half-shouted, then looked away, frowning. “Er, yes, I’m fine... Steven’s family took care of me, actually.”

There was an audible sigh of relief on the other end, then “Do you want to talk about it?” Connie smiled, despite herself. It was questions like those that made her love her dad so much. She tilted her head, Steven still in peripheral.

“Um, not right now. Is… mom home?”

There was some shifting on the other end. “Your mom won’t be home until very late tonight. Apparently it’s a night for accidents.” He ‘tsk’d. “I mean, I don’t know if she’d approve, but… The Universes have been plenty responsible before. I’ll, uh, talk it over with her for you when she gets back.”

“Really!?” Connie gasped. “Oh, thank you daddy, you’re the best!”

He chuckled, weary. “Yeah, well, don’t thank me yet. I’m sure your mom will have some words for you in the morning. Be up bright and early, alright? I’ll be by to pick you up around seven.”

“Okay.” She turned away again, blushing a little. “And, daddy?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Kahaani. Stay safe, and keep two feet between you and that Universe boy at all times, you hear me?” There was a tense silence where the pair looked at each other, very much already violating that rule. A tinny throat clear broke the gap. “Actually, why don’t I talk to the most responsible person there before I approve this.”

“Uh, okay. Just a minute.” Connie covered the receiver. ‘Pearl?’ she mouthed.

‘Pearl.’ Steven nodded.

He threw off the covers, then they worked their way down the stairs to the front door, only to see Pearl holding onto Spinel. Both of them backed away quietly, and turned to Amethyst and Garnet.

“Uh…” Steven managed, but she was already next to Garnet.

“Garnet, could you talk to my dad for a bit and let him know everything will be alright? He wants to talk to someone responsible.”

“Uh…” Garnet managed, but Amethyst was already next to Garnet.

“Hand it over.” The purple gem said. When that only got hesitation, Amethyst rolled her eyes and snatched it anyways. “Hey, this is Amethyst.” It was too far away for her to make anything out. “Yeah, just me… Ha! No, it’s not like that.” She started to walk away, leaning on a barstool, all while looking on with a wide, self-satisfied grin. “No, you’ve probably got a few years before it’s obvious enough. Oh, I’m sure. We’re doing our best over here, too, but it’s all about what they want, you know?” A longer pause. “Mhm. Alright, hey, take it easy Mr. Connie’s Dad, we’ll be there in the morning. Ahuh. Yeah, we got those. Don’t worry, buh-bye.”

Connie gaped, fighting down a blush, while Steven just looked sort of anxious. _They can’t be talking about… us, right?_

“Did it work out?” Steven asked, apparently oblivious.

“Oh yeah. It worked out.” Amethyst tossed the phone back, snapping Connie into reality long enough to catch the phone. She straightened a little, and hazarded a question.

“What was, uh, that about?” She asked.

Amethyst just rolled her eyes. “You know, adult stuff. Clean clothes, extra tooth-brushes, blah blah _blah_.” The purple gem broke away, sliding over to the temple door. “Ay, Garnet! Come here, gotta tell you somethin’. You two nerds finish up with the laundry, alright?”

The maroon gem rose, looking oddly relieved, and shot them a thumbs up before following Amethyst out.

As soon as both were gone, Connie let out a breath, folded to the floor, and became one with the clothes. Steven joined her a moment later.

“So… sleepover?”

“Sleepover.”

* * *

“What!?” **Steven** shouted. “This is so unfair.”

“That’s just how life is sometimes, Mr. Universe.” Connie said somberly.

“How’d you get ahead of me?” He asked, eyes focused on the screen ahead. Connie’s stream-lined bike raced ahead of his stock go-kart, the Luigi to his Mario.

“I was on your tail the whole time. You didn’t see me riding your slip-stream?” She spared a moment to glance over. The TV was pretty tiny, but he was adamantly against screen-looking anyways.

“That would be cheating.” He whined. She laughed.

The A.I. had been set to easy to give her a fair chance with the unfamiliar game, but it turned out to be wholly unnecessary as they jockeyed for first place on the final lap. Suddenly, warning honks blared out from Connie’s controller as Steven barely managed to dodge a blue shell, careening past and slamming into a distressed Luigi.

“Awwww, come on!”

“That’s just how life is sometimes, Ms. Maheswaran.” Steven mirrored, sympathetic. “Mario Kart is a cruel mistress.”

Soon after he’d slipped past and taken first, a string of mishaps had caused her to fall into fifth. For a moment, Steven thought about slowing down to let her catch up, but kept going anyways. Staying equals meant not underestimating each other, and that meant not taking it easy on each other either. When he glanced to the side, and saw some of the fire in her that had been missing since the Kindergarten, Steven grinned from ear to ear, and passed the finish line without a hint of regret. “Rematch?” He offered, good naturedly.

“Hmm… Nah.” She waved a hand, surprising him. “Let’s just do a co-op tournament.”

The temple door opened. At some point Pearl and Spinel had been gathered by the other full-gems, and now they were out, meeting on the warp pad. Steven paused the game.

“Wait, are we going somewhere?” He asked, confused.

“_We_ are.” Garnet answered. “You’re not.”

“What!?” Steven repeated, standing up. “But, I’m a Crystal Gem too! You can’t leave me behind now, what if you find Lapis and she won’t listen to you?”

“You need your rest.” Pearl refuted. “Both of you do. You’ve had a very full day. Trust that we can handle things for a while.”

The knot from before came back in full. There were too many ways he could see things going wrong if he wasn’t there too. He needed a chance to talk to Jasper soon. Needed to be there for Lapis when she was found. Connie rose too, placing a hand on his back in support.

“I’m prepared to go out, ma’am.” She pleaded. “I won’t make the same mistake again, I promise.” Pearl opened her mouth to respond, but--

“I know it’s your friend.” Spinel said, surprising everyone sans Garnet. “But I’ll do my best in your place, alright? It’s what I was made for, ya know?” Her grin was uneasy.

“We probably won’t even find them anyways.” Amethyst tried to reassure. “I mean, we’ve been searching forever, why would tonight be any different?”

Garnet adjusted, just barely. Steven looked on, mouth open, eyes narrowed. _They know something I don’t… What are they not telling me this time?_ “We should go.” Their leader said suddenly. “We’ll be back soon, Steven, please don’t follow us.”

“No, wait!” He cried, arm extended, but the warp took them anyways. “Ugh! Why doesn’t anyone just _talk_ to me!?” It was starting to feel like the gem he’d had the most straight-forward conversation with in the last twenty-four hours was _Jasper_.

Connie frowned. “You think they’re hiding something?”

“I _know_ they’re hiding something.” Steven answered. He stared at the empty space, then turned with a breath, trying to calm down. “That’s, actually what I texted you about last night. I kind of ended up spying on them talking to Spinel about being a full Crystal Gem and found out a bunch of stuff about my mom.”

Connie looked at her juice box, expression serious, and took a big sip. “Bad stuff?”

“Really bad stuff!” He spread his arms wide. “I found out she _shattered_ someone in the war! And not just anyone, but Pink Diamond, the friend Spinel was waiting for!” Connie’s eyes went wide. “And, maybe she was a leader or something? I think ‘Diamonds’ are leaders, but the Crystal Gems don’t want to talk about them either for some reason, and I think all of this has to do with why Jasper’s mad at mom. And, maybe that’s part of why Spinel doesn’t want to talk to Amethyst?” He stopped, feeling heavy all of a sudden. Maybe he _did_ need to rest.

Connie offered his own juice box while he took a seat. “Spinel told me the Diamonds are where gems come from while we were at the Kindergarten. She mentioned a White and a Blue one, and you said one of the gems on the ship mentioned another, right?”

“... Yellow.” It clicked into place for both of them at once. “Those symbols!”

Connie’s eyes were dark with thought, brow furrowed, already grabbing a nearby notebook and pen. It was a small thing, altogether, but it really brought home how great it was not to be alone in confusing gem stuff any more. “What else can we put together…?” She thought aloud.

Steven blew hot air, deflating into a palm. “I don’t know how much it matters. The gems were gonna tell me most of this stuff soon anyways, and, I dunno, maybe they were right. Maybe I _shouldn’t_ have heard all of that, but… it’s just so frustrating, you know?”

Images flashed through his mind. Pearl’s expression clutching his mom’s scabbard. Amethyst, shape-shifted to her image, backed by static. And Centipeetle, pushing him away from a falling stalactite, despite everything. “There’s just so many problems, and I… I can’t _do_ anything about them! Sometimes, I just feel so… helpless.”

When he looked up, Connie was staring at him with intense eyes. “Well… we _do_ know where they probably went.” The idea drifted through the open air.

“Maybe.” He responded, uncertain. “But, I’ve never been there before, so I don’t know if I could take us there.”

“... Maybe.” Connie lead, picking up steam. “But, you got to Spinel’s garden somehow, didn’t you? _And_ Garnet said ‘don’t follow us’, so that means she has to have seen you there somehow, right?”

“But Spinel said it was really easy to have an accident if we don’t know what we’re doing.” Slowly, she was shaving away the doubt. But still, he could remember falling out of the warp stream and almost dying. A hand moved to his gem unconsciously.

“But you _do_ know what you’re doing!” Connie stood, arms spread a little. “You’re helping a friend. And you’re not doing it because of something your mom did, you’re doing it because she asked _you_ for help. You’ve _never_ needed to know what your mom did to know what was right before, and that hasn’t changed!” She offered him a hand. “Now come on, Jam Bud, we’ve got a gem to rescue. Together.”

She was smiling, wide, proud, eager. He gained a thousand-watt grin of his own, and took it, light again. There was a call, a question in the contact, if they wanted to fuse, but he declined. “When we meet Jasper, I want to be myself. But if she starts causing trouble, then we can fight her together. Jam Bud style.”

“Yeah! Pearl took my sword back, though, so we’ll need to--” There was a low growl from the front porch.

Both of them moved to see a nonplussed Lion sitting patiently. Connie stepped forward, and without prompting, Lion leaned his head down, eyes closed. Steven reached within his mane, and pulled free Rose’s sword with a strange ease. Sparkling in the starlight, the momentum crashed while he thought about its history. But, when Connie stepped forward, shining in its reflection, he began to realize it didn’t matter. What the sword was used for _now_ was much more important. 

He handed it over with a sort of reverence he usually reserved for private moments thinking about his mom, and she took it with the sort of grace and solemn courage he thought only heroes in books had. They looked at each other with confident eyes, and smiled.

“No matter what comes--” He began.

“We do this--” She followed.

“Together.”

* * *

The first warp had brought them to the Kindergarten they knew, but the second took them to another. Connie stood close, and together they paced quickly. The floor was soft and widely uneven, canyon walls nothing like the smooth purple of Amethyst’s own. Here, there were still stalagmites and grooves everywhere, wide land-bridges connecting overhead. Bands of orange and red jut out awkwardly, gem-holes scattered, and many were… off. Different shapes or sizes brought on by the curved stone, some not even right-side up. If the first Kindergarten was a place that was never supposed to have been made, then this one felt like a place that was never supposed to have been _seen_.

“They’ll have time over us, but they’re also going to be sticking together.” Connie reasoned out, voice hushed. “So, we should pick a way they wouldn’t, or couldn’t, have gone.”

At a junction that split three ways, he looked further to the right and saw a narrow band tucked away in the stone that they’d be able to squeeze through. “There!”

It was only while they worked their way through that it occurred to Steven just how strange it was to be racing _against_ the Crystal Gems. Doing things behind their back still felt wrong, but with any luck it wouldn’t become a trend. For now, all that mattered was stopping whatever bad thing Garnet saw in the future. Dealing with their disappointment could come later.

A glance back to Connie reaffirmed that for him, and together they popped out on the other end, staring down a snaking path that only opened in another direction at the very end.

And there, at that corner…

“Jasper.” Steven whispered.

A few hundred feet away, the orange gem’s thick white mane was bright in the naked starlight. She was sitting on a raised slab, long, sharpened sticks of metal embedded in the ground on either side, thick coils of wire serving as grips. A glint caught off her gem, and then her teeth. There was no point in hiding any more. Connie’s hand caught his own, heartbeats wild, and together they walked forward, stopping about fifty feet out. In a place this quiet, it was plenty of room to carry a conversation. Standing up, the gem towered, taller than both of them combined.

“_Rose_.” Jasper said, in a tone so loaded that all he could make out from it was hostility. “I asked you to come alone, but I see organics are still stapled to your side. A living sheath? I thought you _freed_ pearls, or are organics truly lower than even them?”

He tried to work his way through those words, but had to bulldoze it all aside. In his mind, there was going to be more time, or at least the chance to work out a basic plan of action, but already, they were standing face to face. As the seconds dragged, not for the first time, Steven couldn’t help wondering if he’d have the words that his mother didn't. “Where’s Lapis?”

Jasper’s grin got wider. “Cracked. But fully formed.”

“_Where_?” Connie shot, on edge. He squeezed a little, and her grip relaxed by the barest margin.

“You let your pets speak for you, Rose?” Jasper taunted, boring holes into Connie. “I suppose you worked with one for long enough, it shouldn’t surprise me.”

Staring her down, it was just like in that green space. Every nerve in his body was screaming to run, to summon a shield, to call for help, but he pushed it all down, aware of the way that his every feature was broadcasting antagonism. He took a long breath, and forced his body to relax. “Jasper, I’m sorry. You’re the one in front of me, and I should have kept this personal. Maybe you already expected this, but I’m not here to fight you. I _just_ want a chance to talk.”

At that, the orange gem looked almost… well, sad wasn’t it, but something close. “How disappointing.” She finally said. “But, believe it or not, I called you here for the same reason.”

Just as he’d not made a shield, and Connie’s sword stayed lowered, he realized Jasper’s hands hadn’t moved for the metal at her side. His heart soared with hope, while Connie’s eyes only narrowed. “Then, you’re willing to listen?”

“I’m willing to _demand_.” Jasper corrected quickly, and some of that hope crashed. “If I wanted to, I would have already squeezed the life out of your pet and moved on to shattering _you_, but I haven’t.” Connie took a step back, and he followed. “If I wanted to hear you try to excuse your crimes, I would have bent this disgusting form of yours out of shape and then imprisoned you, but I haven’t.” She gave a minute shake of the head. “No, Rose, if you want to claim your precious terra-former, _you’ll_ be the one listening.”

A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his head. “... Okay. I’m listening.”

“Wait.” Connie interrupted. “Whatever your terms are, they don’t mean anything if you can’t prove that Lapis is still, er, ‘together’.”

Jasper looked between the two of them for entirely too long before responding.

“My word is my bond.” She answered coldly.

“That’s not good enough!” Connie returned, and Steven felt a spike of panic-- any kind of push might set Jasper off, but he had no way of knowing which. But, her hand was in his, and instead of interrupting, he forced himself to breathe. Steven swallowed, and resolved to trust her the same way she trusted him. “Maybe you could have hurt us, but if you haven’t yet, then that means you must need us for something. If you want us to listen to you, then you’ll have to listen to _us_.”

Another long, terrible pause. Then, Jasper’s eyes narrowed. A moment later, they flicked away, looking past the exit neither of them could see down. “Tch. How expected…”

Suddenly, a massive hand wrapped around one of the make-shift saber-clubs in the ground, and Jasper pulled its great length free. Her other hand, mean-while, pulled a brick of metal with a single red switch and an antennae from a clip on her backside. Connie raised her sword, but he’d yet to let go, yet to fuse, or summon a shield, or even move.

_What is that thing? What does it do? Is **that** the thing Garnet saw that makes a problem? Or… wait, was it this fight?_ “Wait, Jasper, what’s happening? Talk to me, please, is something wrong?”

The orange gem didn’t answer, just moved to keep the pair in her peripheral while mainly turned towards that opening. A set of foot-falls became rapid, coming closer.

“Jasper!” He heard Garnet call. _Come on, not **now**!_

Thinking on instinct, he summoned a shield and tossed it across the opening, clear from Jasper, who tensed, but let it fly. The pink symbol embedded in the weirdly soft stone, and a trio of gasps came from the other gems as they slid into vision, skidding to a halt.

“Steven!!” Pearl and Spinel called out.

“Connie!?” Amethyst sputtered.

Even with a visor, he could see the distress in Garnet’s features. “Steven, Connie, I explicitly told you not to follow us! Neither of you should be here, you have to go, _now_! We’ll hold Jasper off, just run!”

“No!” Steven shouted, surprising them. “I _chose_ to be here. And none of us should be fighting right now!”

“Connie,” Pearl pleaded. “Please, be sensible. Drag Steven out of here if you have to, but he can’t be here for this. I’m not asking you as his knight, but as his friend. Neither of you should be here!”

Connie shook her head. “I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t do that. Steven and I are here together, and we believe that what we offer will make a difference.”

“This is _not_ up for debate!” Garnet said with authority. “Jasper isn’t someone who can be reasoned with. Any discussion will end in a fight, one which you will be targeted during, and badly hurt for. Steven, I know you want to help, and I know you must feel responsible, but this _isn’t_ your fight. What happens here is impossible to prevent, and you _need_ to go home, now!”

Steven gaped, as something clicked into place. “I… I can’t believe you guys.” His free arm went wide. “We’re the Crystal Gems! Just because you think it’s impossible means I shouldn’t try? Just because it’s dangerous means I shouldn’t do it?” The hand came to his gem, the ‘test’ they made coming to mind as he continued.

“I-I know you guys must miss her too, but, I learned some stuff the other day, and… And I know that mom wasn’t perfect! But, I think she knew what was _right_, and, even if she couldn’t always make good on that, I-- I know that I can’t let myself do the same thing. I _know_ that violence isn’t the answer,” He turned to Jasper, tearing up. “And, I know that what my mom did was wrong, but even if you didn’t need us for something, I’m sure you know that too.” And back to the Gems. “So, we’re not going to fight tonight! We’re just, _not_.”

All of the Crystal Gems stared back. Pearl’s lips were pursed.

And then, Jasper made a low, discontented noise. “For once, it looks like you weren’t lying, Rose. Control your lackeys, and we can continue.” She held up the metal brick, grip tight. “Otherwise, I’ll be forced to use this.”

Silence.

“Use it for what?” Connie managed, when no one else could.

Pearl sighed, and snapped to. “That would appear to be a remote activation switch of some kind. If taken from a control panel _here_, then it would be able to engage any injectors it’s still assigned to. However…”

Garnet picked up. “It shouldn’t. We’ve disabled all of them.”

Jasper’s eyes narrowed. “Right now, Lapis Lazuli is trapped. Stationed above her prison is a _single injector_. If activated, her surroundings will destabilize, and the traitor will be crushed beneath several tonnes of rock.” Her head turned back to him. “I don’t need idle threats to defeat you, and frankly this is beneath me. The only reason I’ve gone _this_ far is because your kind have a long history of not understanding the obvious.”

_Is **that** why they didn’t want me here…? Did Garnet see Lapis…_

His stomach lurched.

Past that initial moment, none of the Crystal Gems had actually eased up. Spinel’s eyes were moving back and forth, limbs twitching. Jasper’s grip was tight, and Amethyst gave him a pleading look.

“So, it’s an exchange.” Again, Connie managed where he couldn’t seem to.

Jasper’s eyes were appraising, and then she nodded, just barely. “You will fetch Peridot for me. Return her in any form, so long as her gem isn’t damaged.”

“And you give Lapis back?” Steven asked.

“Those are the terms.” Jasper confirmed. “Any attempt to free the prisoner prematurely will result in her shattering, and yours. I will not disclose her location. Trespassing will be taken as an attempt to free her.”

“Okay. I understand.” Steven let hope take hold again. “Then, I’ve listened to you. Please, will you listen to me? At least this once?”

Jasper scowled, but her weapon moved to the side, set against the dirt. “I’ve never lost a fight, Rose. Whatever you have to say, expect something back.”

Steven nodded, slowly.

“Thank you.” He took a shaky breath. Let his thoughts collect. About the images that came to mind when he thought about the Crystal Gems. About Lapis. About whatever Jasper might be going through too. “It’s just, I’m tired of seeing people repeat the same mistakes. We’re all here because we wanted to be. Because there’s something we believe in. And, even if that thing is different for you, I can still see what we share.”

When he thought of Pearl, it wasn’t clutching his mom’s scabbard, it was breakfast in the mornings. It wasn’t rocketing to space, it was her clutching him on the way down, muttering apologies. And it wasn’t the question she asked on that island, it was the stories she shared afterwards. It was holding the Crystal Gem’s flag. “I’m sorry that my mom’s hurt you somehow, but whatever she did, I can’t take it back. I know that, when you’re hurt, it can be scary. And sometimes you’ll want to take that out on other people. But, that won’t help you! You have to be able to appreciate what you have _now_, and everything you _can_ still do!”

Jasper didn’t so much as twitch. Steven continued.

When he thought of Amethyst, it wasn’t backed by static, it was as the Purple Puma! It wasn’t fighting with Pearl, it was cheering over his backpack. And it wasn’t crying in some hole, it was standing up for others, because she was amazing! It was as a proud Crystal Gem, because even if she wasn’t there for the war, she fought for the Earth anyways! He laughed, smiling. “And, I know you’re strong! I bet if I was as big and tough as you I wouldn’t have lost a fight either! But, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with _us_. Everyone has different talents. You can’t do everything Peridot does, right? It’s the same thing! I can’t fight like you, but, maybe I could heal you after the fight?”

Jasper’s lips became a thin line.

When he thought of Garnet, it wasn’t three angry eyes trying to get back a mirror, it was her smile, listening to him talk! It wasn’t as a rampaging fusion, it was as the gem that held him in the rain, after he’d been so afraid of the future. And it wasn’t as someone who didn’t trust him, because she’d given him more chances to shine than anyone. All he had to do now was show her how ready he was!

“And, I get that trust can be hard when there’s so much you don’t know! When I got here, I was scared, but I didn’t let that stop me. Listening to other people lets you learn things you didn’t know before. Maybe you’ll find reasons to like someone, or see ways you can improve yourself! I mean, I don’t really _like_ what you’re doing here, but you put a big plan together, and that makes you smart! Sometimes, I wish _I_ could plan things a little better, and maybe from here on out I will.”

And, of course, he hadn’t known Spinel for long, but she was awesome too! When he thought of her, it wasn’t alone on the beach, it was teaching him and Connie how to juggle. It was the proud look in her eyes when he overheard that she’d stood up for them. Maybe she wasn’t ready to talk about whatever was on her mind, and maybe she didn’t want to. But, that didn’t mean he didn’t want to hear it.

“And, finally. I know sometimes it’s hard to talk about what’s wrong. If you hold onto something for long enough, it can hurt, and when you let go, sometimes it will hurt other people too. But, that doesn’t mean you should have to hurt alone.” He squeezed Connie’s hand and extended the other to Jasper. “No matter what’s wrong, I promise that I’ll listen, and do whatever I can to help you hurt less. I’m _not_ Rose, but I’m willing to make up for what she did, because someday… I want to do even better.”

Pearl and Amethyst blinked away tears. Garnet smiled, and Spinel’s mouth was open. Jasper stared, expression leaning blank.

And then,

“Are you finished?”

He nodded, and kept his hand raised, though he wasn’t sure it would stay that way for long.

“I see how you do it now, Rose. You elevate their flaws, and praise them as strengths. Reality isn’t kind enough, so you offer an alternative.” Jasper began, scowling. “But the truth is unavoidable! The moment these gems leave that shelter, they’ll be forced to face it.” Her eyes drifted across each and every one of them. “Together, you’re even less than you were apart.”

And she pointed to them in turn.

“You, fusion! You’re nothing more than a punch-drunk Sapphire and a Ruby that’s forgotten what duty _really_ is. The Sapphire, your charge, has only suffered for your presence. A future like this should have been obvious, but a life of violence with all the impulse control of a Ruby has tainted you. Respectable apart, but incompetent and obsessed together; You were Rose’s favorite tool of war, and it shows.”

Jasper pointed to Pearl and Spinel, but Pearl pre-empted, almost growling as she stepped in front of Spinel. “If you’re going to say something about strength or ability, I’ll _gladly_ prove you wrong.”

“Ha!” Jaspers tone didn’t waver. “And perhaps you _do_ have some ability, but strength? Just look at yourself. Whatever talent you might have is unoriginal, borrowed from greater gems, and without an individual to focus it around, it’s wasted. By abandoning the Diamond’s Order, you deny yourself the purpose and satisfaction it’s built to give you. Tainted by Rose, you’re nothing but a mockery of your potential: a sad, pathetic amalgamation of the stronger gems I’m sure you’ve _convinced_ yourself you’re like.”

Spinel, looking between the two of them, placed a hand on Pearl’s shoulder. “You’re wrong! Both of us, we built ourselves! It doesn’t matter that we don’t have someone any more, because _we’re_ still here, making our own choices!”

“Ahh, I see.” Jasper swiveled onto the pink gem. “It’s not that you’ve abandoned your purpose, it’s that you’ve _been_ abandoned.” Spinel’s black eyes went wide, and Jasper’s tone became vindicated. “In the Diamond’s Order, the only ones left behind are the truly worthless. Abandoned as a failure, you were deemed unfit to even be used as a resource. Whoever owned you must have been important. How did it feel, finding out that you weren’t important to _them_? Wouldn’t it have been better if you never had to feel that way? Wouldn’t it have been better if you’d been repurposed?”

“Hey, leave her alone!” Amethyst shouted, stepping forward herself. Jasper’s gaze turned again, and while the smaller gem kept eye contact, it didn’t look pretty.

Suddenly, Jasper’s voice lost all of its humor.

“Look at you.” She frowned. “I don’t even have to say anything. It’s obvious, comparing the two of us; I’m everything you could be, and you’re everything that holds a team back.” Jasper stood a little taller, scowling again. “Word of advice, runt. Belief in the cause won’t get you anywhere. It takes more than courage to win, more than talent to succeed, and more than drive to dominate. I’ve seen gems with all three fail anyways, and you know why?” Her voice became a hideous whisper. “Because they were more _like you_ than they were _like me_. You’d be better off shattering yourself now than trying to amount to something, only to fail forever.”

Steven looked over the Crystal Gems, and while Garnet was mostly unphased, the same couldn’t be said for the others. Amethyst looked almost owlish, Spinel was staring ahead at something none of them could see, and Pearl looked distracted.

And then, Jasper turned on him.

Connie stepped in front, sword raised, but he could only swallow, and prepare to listen.

“And _you_.” Jasper began, gaining all of that hate again. “Do you understand now, Rose? What you’ve done to these gems? Your rebellion gave them hope, all while you stole it from the enemy. You _lied_. Despite being unable to succeed, you told them it was a chance for gems to be anything they wanted to be; that it was their _right_ to choose that impossible ideal over the facts. That cruelty ends with you. This planet, and all the gems it’s taken, _ends with you_.”

She gestured wide, apparently no longer needing the weapon that had been in her hand, and began to shout. Her voice shook the canyon.

“I COULD HAVE BEATEN EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WITH MY FISTS, BUT I CHOSE TO DO IT WITH WORDS! WHY!? BECAUSE THERE’S ONLY ONE ORDER IN THIS UNIVERSE, AND THAT’S THE _PERFECT_ ORDER! THE _DIAMOND’S ORDER_!!” The mountain erupted, and all that remained was smoke. “Each and every one of you is a burden to the other. You’re all just too defective to notice. Right here, right now, finding Peridot for me is the first thing any of you will have done right in six thousand years. Now _leave_.”

Steven nodded, and offered a small smile anyways. “Thank you for talking instead. I really appreciate it.”

And they did leave. Jasper watched, prowling above the lower canyon walls while they walked back in silence. It was like being followed by a ghost, and it wasn’t until a little ways into warping home that Steven spoke again, Connie already seeming to follow his thoughts.

“I’m… glad we’re the way we are.” He started, slowly. “I’m glad mom gave everyone the chance to choose what they wanted to be.” Connie nodded.

“And, I’m glad you all chose to protect the Earth. I think all the stuff Jasper was saying is bunk.”

“Yeah!” He followed. “I mean, we’re not perfect, but… I’m glad we’re not. I don’t even know what we’d be like if we were. All that ‘perfect order’ stuff… if the Diamond’s order meant we wouldn’t have met each other, then… I’m just glad we’re in ‘working order’.”

Spinel sniffled, then desperately wiped at her eyes. “Me too. I don’t think the Diamonds could ever really be as happy as us.”

Garnet smiled again. “Jasper is free to believe what she wants to. We know what we are. All of us.”

“Ha!” Amethyst’s hair covered one eye. “What would she know about good relationships anyways?”

Pearl looked at him, eyes shining. “I’m very proud of you, Steven. I think we all are. It’s just… easy, when you’re as old as us, to forget how fast you’re growing. I know Rose would be proud of you, too.”

At that, he teared up too, and put a hand at the center of the crowded circle. “Come on, together.” Connie’s hand came over his, then Pearl’s, then the rest. “We are…”

“THE CRYSTAL GEMS!”

When the warp ended, everyone landed together, hand over hand at the Beach House.

“Really, though.” Pearl scolded. “You _do_ have to sleep this time. I’ll be watching to make sure you do.”

“Peeearl.” Steven whined.

“You can’t pretend you haven’t earned it. Both your rest _and_ the supervision.”

Connie rubbed the back of her head. “Honestly, I don’t know how well I’m going to be able to sleep after all this.”

“Yeah,” Amethyst imposed. “And I haven’t even blown up the mattress yet. Connie’s never over like this, let’s watch a movie or something first!” 

“Amethyst, they both--” Pearl began, only to be interrupted by Garnet.

“A movie sounds great.” She said with hints of mirth.

Pearl folded her arms, then sighed, relenting with a smile that gave away how she felt. “Alright, fine. _But_, Spinel gets to choose.”

“Me!?” Spinel exclaimed. “But I don’t know anything about movies.”

“Yes, but if it’s your first time seeing one, it should to at least be one that interests you.”

“Um,” He began. “Connie, why don’t you show Spinel my collection? I, uh, want to get some water. I kinda did a lot of talking back there.”

“Oh, sure.”

When Steven walked over to the sink to get a glass of water, a sore throat was only part of the reason he’d moved away. Looking back, everyone was so animated. Connie was going over movie choices with Spinel, and Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet were smiling broad, the white gem making little motions with her hand that Garnet returned. He watched as they moved the TV down to the table in front of the couch, and took a couple blankets down too. Steven blinked, trying to burn it all into his memory forever. 

The Crystal Gems were part of his family, and he was so glad to finally be able to stick up for them the way they’d always stood up for him. 

“Steven, come on, we’re gonna get started!” 

“Coming!”

And that was pretty perfect, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parallelism is fun. Steven doesn't get enough chances to flex how well he manages to internalize all the stuff he sees go wrong. Mostly it just comes through in how he behaves, or the things he _doesn't_ say, so this was a treat to write.
> 
> You _may_ have noticed the bit at the top there still says 5/6 Chapters. That's because I decided the idea of movie night as an epilogue was too cute not to do, frankly. Though what movie it'll be, I'm not sure yet...
> 
> Anyways, this one took a while for obvious reasons, taking care with the dialogue being the majority of it. I'm taking a small break to decompress after all that heaviness, probably a month of working on other projects and fluffier stuff. In the mean time, I want to recommend some other people's excellent ongoing projects as well!
> 
> First is [Connie Swap](https://archiveofourown.org/series/630527)! A project I've found again recently and been having a blast going through. It's a massive project that's been going for three years now and deserves every bit of the credit it gets. While it starts sweet, it doesn't take long to dive into a lot of really substantial content. The character building, dialogue, and outline work the story does really outpaces the show in a lot of ways. The fic has its own art, and the team that supports it updates every wednesday in some format or another. Normally I'd give a summary, but I don't want to spoil anything. I mean, heck, if you liked the show, everything about it and much more is here too.
> 
> The second is [Catching Up,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630912/chapters/48989588) which is a part of the ongoing [Hybridization](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1520681)series by EchoFour. Taking place after the movie, Connie is injured in an attack by some rogue gems and finds herself driven to overcome her limits. Hard-pressed to summarize it better than the fic's own summary and tags, but I recommend it because of how well put together it is. It explores a lot of concepts like transhumanism with great consideration to the moral and scientific side of things, while never leaving the balanced considerations of Connie and everyone around her. Great dialogue, great exploration, great pacing, a great work!
> 
> And, no, not all of these are Connie based, because the third one is [Lost or Found](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21005504/chapters/49955033) by raincheck8. A Spinel fic which explores what happens after Spinel is taken back to Homeworld with the Diamonds. It's a very loving work that I think does an excellent job exploring how the Diamonds and Spinel are recovering from the loss of Pink and the events of the movie. The emotions come through very clearly, and I particularly enjoyed Chapter 3, The Pearls, for adding something to their characters as well.
> 
> And, finally, one that's not SU at all. [Three Kids On A Raft](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21388312/chapters/50951320) by hexagonstorm and _rainyweather, who are both very cool friends of mine. This is a novelization and canon reimagining of the Kingdom Hearts franchise, starting right at the beginning with Sora, Riku, and Kairi on Destiny Islands. Already, it's done a great job of taking on a lot of world concepts and adding depth and care when mixing it all together. The worlds feel like fully fleshed worlds, and it adds so, _so_ much to the series itself. Everyone is written and treated like a fully realized character, which means Kairi is a big part of the ongoing plot, which will be very different to what you might remember in general. Because it's also taking the story seriously, it's definitely darker in some places, but it's also pretty funny, and plenty capable of whimsy. Traverse Town has been a treat. Give it a chance! It's been very fun to read.
> 
> As usual, each of these are in my bookmarks as well.  

> 
> In general, I want to take a moment to reflect on how glad I am that this series has done well. It's been such a treat reading all these comments. My goal is still to make it at least to Bismuth, which is still an undisclosed amount of distance off, in my head. Can't wait for everything I'm doing with Jasper to be wrong in Future somehow. We'll see how that shakes out, I'm excited for that, too.
> 
> Next up...? More focus on Spinel, a lot of talking, and a _very_ different kind of finding Peridot arc. As ever, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> <3


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spinel tries to wind down for movie night with mixed results.

**Spinel** sat on the bed with Connie, eyes on the girl and moving wherever her hands did, but her attention was half there, half somewhere else. Where, exactly, seemed to change every time. She was back in the Garden, she was back on the beach, she was back on that rooftop, in that emergence hole, staring at Connie on the floor, being held by Pearl, being torn into by a Jasper.

Most of those things had happened today.

“And so this might be interesting because…”

Garbled. Her palms squeezed together while she gave the easiest smile she could manage. Connie noticed, she was pretty sure, because there was a pause before the clever little human kept going.

“... an entire ancient society hidden in the ocean! But there’s also…”

The Garden, Pink’s thumb against her cheek. The deck, Pearl’s arms around her shoulders. The waterfall, Garnet’s hands on her back, the jungle, Amethyst’s hand in her own. Feeling seemed to chase her, so she breathed once, twice, and pushed it away.

Pearl was close by, talking to Garnet and Amethyst like nothing was wrong. Everyone was. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was just her. Connie paused, longer this time, so Spinel tried to focus her eyes a little more effectively. 

“... about a dog, who is also part helicopter, but it’s also about more than that, there’s a lot of subtext…”

Connie, smiling. Pearl and Garnet, smiling. Steven, looking over the counter, smiling. Everything was welling up, but-- She lost focus. Forced it back. Couldn’t break down here. Not tonight. Not yet. A movie. Maybe let out a little? Just a little?

Connie was speaking. “Of course, there’s debate about whether the third movie is really even cannon because it took a lot of liberties, but I think--”

“Are you okay?” Spinel rushed out, quietly. “Like, really okay?”

Connie, off-set, paused again. Blinked, before answering slowly. “I’m… fine. Of course I’m fine. I’m still here, right?”

“Yeah, but…” Her fingers flexed, but the motion felt too overt, so she settled for squeezing a little tighter. Connie’s features seemed to narrow with concern. “A-Actually, just, forget I said anything. You know how I can be, uh, just runnin’ my mouth! Haha. Ha.”

But Connie didn’t forget. “Um…” She leaned in closer, voice to a whisper. It should have been obvious before, but somehow Spinel had only just noticed the arm Connie was holding a little box out with was trembling. “To tell the truth… I’m still sort of scared.” Spinel’s eyes narrowed, her own problems suddenly less important.

“Not of Jasper, or Lapis. Well, maybe Lapis. But, I got really caught up in the moment, and I don’t _regret_ going with Steven, but… the whole way back, I couldn’t stop thinking about how all the other Gems might ban me from hanging out with him, or from being a part of all this magical stuff.” Her fingers tightened around the box. “A-And maybe they still will! Maybe they’re just waiting until tonight’s over because they don’t wanna hurt Steven’s feelings, and maybe Pearl isn’t gonna train me any more, and this movie is the last-- the last thing I’m gonna get to do with him…”

The girl swallowed, holding onto the box with both hands now. Spinel knew enough to realize tears might come next, so she slid over, and wrapped an arm around the girl’s shoulders. Connie jumped, so she let go immediately, but the girl looked up, surprised, and then apologetic.

“Sorry,” Connie offered. “I’m just, uh, still not really used to the way everyone touches each other here. I’m not really…” She paused. “Can you do that again?”

“Of course.” Spinel did no more, no less than last time. The girl liked facts, so she kept it simple and direct. “Connie, I might not know everything, but I know one thing for sure. Everyone here wants you around. We think you’re swell!”

“How can you be so sure?”

She rubbed Connie’s shoulder fondly, slow, assuring. “Because, if they didn’t, then Pearl wouldn’t have told me how _proud_ of you she is. Annd, Amethyst wouldn’t have suggested watchin’ a movie. Aaannd, I’m pretty sure Garnet said a few hours ago you were ‘always welcome here’. Now I don’t know about you, but if someone with future vision told _me_ that, I think I’d have to believe ‘em.” Spinel poked Connie’s side.

She giggled. “I guess so. It’s just… hard to believe, sometimes. That I could be important here. It just feels like so much more than I am.”

_I know what you mean_, she barely managed not to say. Spinel mulled over a few things she could say to assure her, but all of them felt like too much. Confidence didn’t come from other people, and she was hardly an authority anyways. “If I know Pearl, then I think she’s already planning somethin’ for you, but… I’ll see if I can’t convince her to start takin’ you and Steven out on some adve-- er, missions together.”

Connie looked up, and it was so easy to see reflected the way belief had to force itself through. “Really?”

“I’ll try anyways.” Spinel managed to smile for her. “Can’t promise she won’t just pack you in with foam and sling you over like a backpack when she _does_ take you, or that you won’t be sparrin with balloon animals for a while, but… Well, she cares about you. You’ll be fine, kiddo.” She put a hand on the girl’s head.

“... Thanks.” Connie managed, bashful. “And, um,” She twiddled with the box. “Promise you won’t talk about this to any of them? Even Steven?”

“It’s a promise.”

Spinel brought her in for a fully body hug. Connie seemed to lean into it.

“Now then…!” The pink gem perked up, one arm looping midair to pick a box. At some point in the middle of them talking, the other Gems had moved the TV down to the living room and got it working on the table in front of the L-shaped couch. “How about this one?”

“Oh, really?” Connie brought knuckles beneath her chin. “I’m not sure I did the best job describing that one. I wasn’t really sure what to spoil or not, so, I sort of said nothing? I can go over a few of these again if you’d like.”

Spinel stood up. “Well, _I_ think the colors look nice, and I wanna know more about that big blue guy. So this is the one I’m pickin’, and that’s final.” A finger to her chin. “Uh, ‘Dogcopter’ was that one you were talkin about for a while, yeah? We can watch that one next time.”

Connie nodded, grinning now. “Okay! I’ll help get it set up.”

The girl set off, calling across the room once down the stairs. “Steven, come on, we’re gonna get started!”

“Coming!” The boy responded. The two of them pulled a blocky black and white thing and started fiddling with the TV, complaining about having to ‘rewind’ something.

Spinel gripped the sheets, stared out, and took a couple breaths.

One.

Two.

And set on the path.

Across the L-shaped couch, Steven and Connie were sitting next to each other in the middle, Amethyst was closer to the joint on the left side, and Pearl was on the right. Garnet was standing off to the side, a blanket folded in one hand, and another was in Pearl’s. There was a gap on the far end of either side that she could easily fill.

Spinel’s eyes moved between both points, easy smile suddenly forced again.

It wasn’t a matter of picking just in the moment. It was about what she could take.

Amethyst’s eyes moved naturally from Pearl to her. Spinel felt her fingers curl in. Not as fists, but just. _Tense_. Her own eyes flicked away unnaturally, to some empty space while she moved to sit close to Pearl. The white gem gave a reassuring smile, easy, maybe even knowing, which Spinel wasn’t sure she liked exactly, but had to bear with. The pink gem looked away, gulping unintentionally, and Pearl’s arm wrapped around her shoulders again, bringing her a little closer, and suddenly everything was a little more okay.

It wasn’t like she didn’t want Amethyst to know everything was fine. She just didn’t have the energy and wherewithal the purple gem deserved yet. Hopefully that came across. Hopefully it didn’t feel like being left behind. It wasn’t anything wrong with them, it was just her. It could only be her.

Spinel leaned into the white gem and wrapped an arm around her side as well, feeling very, very small.

Pearl tossed the blanket over both of them, and then pulled another, even softer looking one out from her gem and threw it expertly over Steven and Connie. Garnet nodded, barely, and hopped into the air directly over Amethyst, landing cross-legged on the couch’s bend. The small gem slumped onto the fusion, staring pointedly forward at the screen. Garnet didn’t seem to mind at all, and set the blanket over them.

Steven’s eyes wandered, a few lines under them. “Oh!” Then, he suddenly flung the blanket off, eyes on Spinel as he moved to the kitchen. “If it’s your first movie, there’s _gotta_ be popcorn! It’s a pretty simple food too, so, maybe it could be your first one?”

“... Maybe?” Spinel put forward, not wanting to really resist.

“It won’t end well.” Garnet said severely. “Ever.”

“She can’t have popcorn _ever_?” Steven gasped out.

“Er. It doesn’t end well _tonight_.” Garnet adjusted. “In any future.”

“... wow.” Spinel managed alongside Connie.

A pause from the kitchen. “Oh.” Before he put in an unfolded packet of the stuff anyways. “Well, more for the rest of us I guess. Amethyst, you want the extra butter packet?”

“Oh, uh. Yeah.” The purple gem propped up a little, and a greasy-looking packet of yellow stuff was lobbed in an arc towards her waiting arm.

“Honestly, that’s for the best.” Pearl added, and the mood shifted. “Think about it Spinel, it’s _disgusting_. You just… mash material down? With your _teeth_? And then don’t stop until it’s nothing but mush, and then you’re supposed to just… to just…” She put a hand to her mouth, grimacing. “Guh, I’m getting worked up just _thinking_ about it.”

“To be fair,” Amethyst began. “We don’t _have_ to do it like humans.” She dangled the entire packet over her open mouth, and then dropped it in, swallowing the whole thing unceremoniously. “See? No teeth involved.”

Pearl groaned, Connie suppressed an amused ‘ewww’, and Spinel chuckled. The ‘microwave’ beeped, and a minute later, Steven came back with two large bowls of something that smelled absolutely _amazing_. Nothing but butter and ‘popped corn’, a question revealed.

“I’ve gotta try it at least _once_.” Spinel said. “This stuff, bubble gum, and ice cream are at the top of my list right now. And uh, anything they sell at a carnival I guess. If it smells good, then it’s gotta _taste_ good too, right?”

Steven spoke through a mouthful. “Isch tha besctht!”

“Steven, don’t speak with your mouth full.” Garnet warned.

Connie picked up the remote, and poised a finger over the ‘play’ button. “Alright, then if we’re all set…” No response. “Great! Then without further ado, I present to you… Alladin!”

A shifting gradient began to play out to a soft song that swelled, the screen transitioning between every shade of red to every shade of blue.

“Why that one?” Steven asked after swallowing.

“Uh,” Spinel began. “Because the box looked neat?”

“Nice, that’s how I picked out most of those movies.” Steven nodded in approval.

“Not by reading the backs?” Connie asked.

“Trailers aren’t usually like the movie, so I sort of always figured all that stuff on the back was the same way.” He grabbed another handful of popcorn. “But all the faces on the front are _definitely_ gonna show up, so it’s like you can’t go wrong, you know?”

“... huh.” Connie hummed. “I--”

“Shhh.” Garnet said, gesturing to Spinel. The pink gem’s eyes were glued intensely to the screen. “The movie’s starting.” She said with a smile.

* * *

The titular ‘Alladin’ character was running in an increasingly elaborate series of events and scenes. All the while, song and information never slowed down.

“Humans are so good at singing…” Spinel whispered.

“It’s just a movie.” Pearl dismissed. “It’s not like they’re _actually_ running and singing at the same time.” Amethyst rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, and not every human can jump thirty feet in the air. They’re still pretty good at it.”

The TV continued blaring audio.

_ **“Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat / Otherwise we’d get along!”** _

_ **** _

_ **** _ ****

** _“Wrong!”_ **

Spinel’s brow lowered. “So, human stuff is mostly fake, right?”

“That’s… one way of putting it.” Connie answered. “Why?”

Her lips pursed. “I’m just wonderin’ if this place is fake too.”

Amethyst shrugged. “It’s real to them.”

Pearl piped up. “I believe she means, ‘is this a location on Earth’.”

“Uh, that too.” Spinel answered. “But, I mean, are there really places like--” All the guards started swinging swords at the little brown-furred miscreant, scurrying away. “That? It looks a little, uh, intense for the kind of humans I’ve met so far.”

Garnet spoke up. “Widely, the Earth is nothing like Homeworld. But throughout humanity’s history, there have been many eras that share some similarities.”

“Not everywhere’s as nice as here.” Steven picked up, seeming to surprise Pearl. “But that doesn’t mean there aren’t nice people everywhere.”

She watched, as the young man on screen handed over the bread he’d worked an entire musical number to get just to help a couple kids that probably needed it more. A ‘diamond in the rough’, apparently. Her lips pursed. 

“Yeah. I guess so.”

* * *

The princess in disguise and the young man were sharing a scene atop the multi-tiered flat roofs of the city. Humans were talented with drawing expressions too, or at least she had to assume, because it was clear to her that the two were already in love.

Spinel nestled a little deeper into Pearl, overtaken by a memory. “Hey Pearlie, you ever get the chance to see that place where all the ‘thinkers’ got together on Homeworld?”

The white gem, at first surprised by the nickname, melted into a smile. “Ah, the Erudite Plaza. I see what you’re saying, the scenery here is similar, if obviously far more decrepit and dangerous.”

“The what plaza?” Amethyst asked. Pearl gasped in a way that, had it come from anyone else, Spinel would’ve called overdramatic.

“Amethyst, what a surprise! You’re taking interest in a piece of Gem culture?”

“Eugh, not if--” She stopped suddenly, and blew hot air. “Whatever. Yeah, I guess I am.”

Spinel started quickly, wanting to save that interest. Connie and Steven looked on, excited. “The Erudite Plaza was a place where ‘thinkers’, Gems with big jobs like makin’ policies, comin up with new Gems to make, and how much of what went where got together to do their best thinkin and relaxin.”

“The architecture and furnishings were all white,” Pearl continued. “But every angle was covered by unique color prisms that rotated through gradients. In order to see the same exact shade twice, one would have to stand in place for over a _decade_.”

“Like a super rainbow?” Steven asked, starry eyed.

She stretched an arm over and around from the cover of the blanket just to ruffle the kid’s hair. “Just like a super rainbow.”

“Did it actually help them think?” Connie asked.

“Dunno.” Spinel answered. “Only ever got to go there a couple times. Not like I could, uh… ask for myself.” She paused, and sensed the uncomfortable shift. “But, it looked nice! Just about everywhere did, even if it didn’t have any, uh, life or sand n stuff.”

Pearl sighed. “It certainly did. Homeworld was…” The princess encountered some guards, and had to reveal herself to get anywhere with them. “Well, it had its problems.”

Garnet hummed. “‘Problems’ is putting it lightly. It was a terror to the universe, an unwitting prison to its inhabitants, and a world without choice for all but those who risked everything.”

Amethyst cleared her throat loudly. “Hey, could we maybe _not_ ruin this movie for Steven?”

“Uh, no, it’s fine.” Steven shifted awkwardly. “I mean, I’ve wanted to hear about this stuff for a while, and, uh. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it’s not actually all nice. Jasper said some weird stuff too…” He took a breath, and Spinel caught the kids’ arms shift beneath the blankets, probably holding hands.

None of the Gems seemed to know what to say.

The man in black was relaying the young man’s fate to the princess.

Spinel spoke again, a little more to herself than anyone else. “I wonder what made the princess want more than she had…”

Pearl tensed against her some. “Who could say?”

Amethyst blew some hair out of her face. “Everyone wants something. ‘S not that complicated.” Connie grabbed a handful of popcorn.

“I mean, if someone was going to force _me_ to get married, I’d want to get out of there too.” She popped a couple pieces in and crunched. “But, it’s probably about wanting to be free in general? The caged bird metaphors earlier were pretty ham-fisted, but self-explanatory doesn’t have to mean ‘bad’. So long as the audience understands without feeling insulted.”

Spinel was left watching the screen, and the princess who had no control, kept behind the walls she was supposed to rule. Servants, pets, anything she could want, and it wasn’t enough.

It wasn’t _wrong_ to want to be free, was it? Even if it meant leaving other things behind? Even if it meant leaving _certain_ things behind? Even if it meant…

“Don’t you think she had enough?” The words left her mouth without meaning to, unmistakably bitter. Pearl brought her closer again, words suddenly heavy with something.

“Freedom doesn’t come with limits, Spinel, it comes with consequences.” The finality made her blink. “Sometimes, those are complicated. Perhaps it _was_ foolish for the princess to leave as she did, but, it allowed her to be more like the person she _wanted_ to be. Standing in the way of that would only be… Well, it would be even more foolish.” 

The white gem’s lips hung open a moment longer, and somehow it was like she could feel all the words that didn’t come. Spinel took a breath, eyes looking up to Pearl’s, which were complicated, and then they both looked ahead, unable or afraid to say any more. She reveled, still, in the sense of being so close. Of being held and assured and cared for. Somehow, she could _feel_ that Pearl wanted to say more. It was easier than reading a crowd of Quartzes, easier than juggling had ever been, natural as--

(_A tall pink room, locked doors, a waterfall, grass, fields of rolling flower, someone’s fingers intertwined with her own, mussed hair, warm black eyes that looked at, not through, pink curls spilling down, tears, shouting, fire, silence, the ocean, waterfalls, rolling water, always the same but too different, solitude but final, alone alone alone alone--_)

Spinel gasped, recoiling as if struck, and Pearl jerked in response.

Her eyes darted. The scene on screen hadn’t changed at all. Everything was normal. An old man was speaking to the young man in a prison, and he wasn’t dead at all. There was a deal, but it hardly registered.

“S-Sorry.” Spinel offered.

“Are you alright?” Pearl asked. “Do we need to stop?”

“No, no, I’m fine. Sorry, I uh.” What _had_ happened? She recognized a few of those places but… Her head jerked. None of the others were staring, which was beyond relieving.

“Hey Connie, did your phone just go off?” Steven asked.

“Huh?” She fished it out from beneath. “Doesn’t look like it. Why?”

“Oh, I thought I saw some light or something.”

She took in a breath. The white gem’s eyes narrowed.

“Remember, it’s only a movie.” Pearl said carefully.

“Right. Just a movie. Sorry.”

Pearl rubbed her shoulder. Silent assurances that she leaned into.

* * *

The blue guy she’d wanted to know about had finally appeared, apparently bound to a lamp much smaller than he was in any form (though it didn’t look like any kind of lamp she knew). The ‘Genie’ continued to change shape over and over and over, taking on different faces and voices while she watched in fascination.

“Ten _thousand_ years in his gem and he’s all jokes and fast-talking?” Spinel voiced. “He’s gotta be cracked.”

Connie raised a finger, but seemed to think better of it. She continued.

“That’s what this is, right? Is that an earth thing? Do you have big blue people in lamps?”

Steven grinned. “No, we don’t have any blue people. Well, except for those silent performers, but I don’t think they came from lamps?”

“It’s a _super_ old story.” Amethyst said with a lazy hand gesture. “Like, maybe older than me? Magical person that does stuff you want, but you’ve gotta be careful how you say it. I’ve done it a few times.”

Connie’s eyes lit up. “Wait, are you Bigfoot?”

Amethyst quirked her lips. “Am I _what_?”

“Bigfoot!” The girl exclaimed. “Tall, furry, humanoid, elusive, and--” Connie gasped. “And spotted all over the world! How have I never made this connection before? How many cryptids and urban legends are just corrupted gems or you three?”

Pearl hummed. “I suppose it’s not impossible for _some_ to be gem related. The aftermath of the Rebellion was… messy. On more than one occasion we’ve had to recover missing artifacts from human hands. _Steven_ can tell you how quickly that tends to escalate.”

“So many cars…” Amethyst commented quietly.

Garnet shrugged. “Eh, it was only twenty.”

Steven looked bashful. “I, uh, _think_ we learned a lesson that day that made it worth it?”

“I learned not to lend things to Amethyst.” Pearl pressed on, groaning. “But, the point is, we’re still missing quite a few things from our registries, not to mention whatever might still be hidden aboard any downed ships we’ve missed. Because this was Pink Diamond’s first colony, Homeworld spared no expense in its attempts to create some of the most advanced and experimental equipment the Empire had ever seen. If it weren’t for Garnet’s future vision expediting the process, who knows what humanity would be up to by now?”

Connie looked to take every word in like a sponge, eyes big. “Ma’am, would you mind if I came by with a catalog of recent myths to take notes and compare them against your own adventures? And, could you teach me more about Gem history?” She managed to keep eye contact, still nervous.

“Why, of course; on both accounts!” Pearl leaned over to place a hand on Connie’s shoulder, noting the small girl’s demeanor. “I’ve told you before, haven’t I? I’m _always_ happy to answer your questions, Connie.” The white gem gained some cheer. “And it would be _lovely_ to teach you some of our history. There’s so much to cover, oh! You’ll be just spoiled for choice on topics. First thing tomorrow I’ll ask some questions and draft a lesson plan afterwards, alright?”

“That… sounds great ma’am.”

“Excellent!” Pearl concluded, wheeling on Spinel, whispering giddily. “Can you believe it? I’ve always wanted to teach Steven, but he’s never been this receptive.” Spinel couldn’t help grinning too.

She waited until the white gem’s attention was properly back on the movie before extending her head and one arm away, sneaking up behind Connie. Steven was whispering too.

“I can help let her down easy if you decide it’s too much later.” He offered.

She turned away a moment, subtly wiping her eyes. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“Hey, kid.” Spinel whispered. Connie looked back to see a gloved hand hanging over the back of the couch. “High five.”

A soft clapping noise, before Spinel returned to where she’d been.

* * *

After song and seeing the world, the young man doubling down on lies, outing Jaffar, and betraying the trust of the genie, Spinel tilted her head. Now the man in black was coming out ahead after the young man turned his friends away.

“Sheesh, this movie’s weird…”

“‘Cause of all the magic?” Steven asked.

“Cuz of the talking animals?” Amethyst asked.

“Because of all the pop-culture references?” Connie piled in, then quietly added. “There really are a lot more than I remember. I know it’s not written for alien audiences, but…”

“No, no, because the vizier guy’s the villain.” Everyone looked at her. She tilted her head away, continuing. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I get _why_. It’s just, if this was a Homeworld story, he’d be the hero. Planning, resource management, loyal service, taking charge when it looks like a superior isn’t stepping up. But the other guy’s a thief, he’s lied ‘nd keeps tryin’ to be more than he is. Looks like maybe he’s gonna be dead for real this time?”

“Dude,” Amethyst started. “The whole point is that it goes wrong _because_ he’s lying.”

“Then why does it work out for the tall snake guy?” She returned.

Pearl’s brow was furrowed. “I don’t expect it will work forever.”

“But what’s the takeaway here?” She asked, a little louder as the scene faded to play out in a snowy landscape. “Lying only works sometimes? Why have it pan out at all?”

“Deceit has no place in love.” Garnet voiced. “The benefits of a lie are temporary, and the longer they last, the worse the damage.”

“So why’s it gotta take until we hit rock bottom! Why can’t he just have done something while it was all wrong?” There was a gap. Spinel realized she was standing, and sat back down quickly.

“It’s only a movie.” Pearl offered softly. Spinel curled her knees to her chin, and accepted when Pearl reapplied the blanket, both relieved her blowout hadn’t been worse, and terrified that it could happen again. Steven spoke a little quieter than normal.

“Uh, I won’t spoil anything, but I think you’ll figure it out if you keep watching. The ending’s really nice.”

Spinel stared ahead hard, but couldn’t help feeling the lingering eyes. From the corner of her vision, it looked like Amethyst wanted to say something too, but instead just finished the last of the popcorn in her bowl.

* * *

_ **“Jazmine, I’m sorry I lied to you about being a prince.”** _

_ **** _

__

_**“I know why you did.”**_  
_**…**_  
_**“But Genie, what about your freedom?”**_

_ **“Hey, it’s only an eternity of servitude. This is love. Al, you’re not gonna find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I’ve looked.”** _

_ **“Jazmine, I do love you, but I’ve got to stop pretending to be something I’m not.”** _

The scene continued. The Genie was freed, the young man accounted for everything he’d hidden and more and everyone understood. It was that simple for him apparently. 

It was that simple.

Spinel felt her chest seizing. She took in a shuddering breath. Pearl tightened her hold, and Spinel did as well. The music swelled in a beautiful ending. First Steven, then Connie cheered for the finale, Amethyst joining in as well. Garnet gave a small clap, smiling as the two young lovers flew away.

“I’m sorry.” Pearl apologized quietly, but for what she couldn’t be sure, and didn’t want to know.

“‘S not your fault.” Spinel said, but about what she wasn’t sure. “It’s just a movie.”

“... Right.”

All the anxious energy that had been pulsing through her form finally collapsed in, and made her body heavy while she leaned against Pearl’s form.

“Thanks for the movie.” Spinel said louder, absently. Her eyes drooped.

“Yeah, it was fun!” Steven said distantly. Or, no he hadn’t moved at all, it was just far for some reason. Connie’s lips moved.

“Can we watch one more?”

Garnet adjusted her shades. “Only one.”

Pearl’s weight leaned against her own. There was a sigh, and more words, but all muddled. Her eyes closed, and there was darkness.

She’d make it right too.

It would just take some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually completely forget to add in a question about what movie the group should watch last chapter, but by the time I realized that, most of the comments were already there. Oops. Runner up for this chapter was 'Lilo and Stitch'.
> 
> Hope you all had a happy holiday. Tried to get this one out a bit sooner as my own little gift, but the time it took ended up making it much better as a result. A lot of our next 'episode' is plotted and some is even drafted, so the wait shouldn't be too too long. Looking forward to the payoff. Also, in case you've missed it, I ended up writing a bonus chapter over the hiatus that'll take place some undisclosed distance in the future, [The Sun Was High](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21770290), about a bet between Pearl and Spinel in the Sky Arena.
> 
> Next up, more original content in 'Closing the Gap'. Time passes, people change, Garnet and Spinel go on a mission, and we check in on a missing Gem. And I promise things get better :)


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